Way back in my misspent youth, I was cast as Vera Charles in Mame.  Not once, but twice.  What can I say, teenage female baritones weren’t easy to find. Anyhow, the first time, I winged it.  It was my first lead – ever.  I was 15. And I learned many things. The second time, I…

Every year, AARP members can take an audiology test using their phone. Every year, I take this test and every year the results are within normal range for both ears. Except this year.  This year, both ears were below normal range – for my age. Well, shit. Okay.  They recommend you contact your healthcare provider…

For such a prolific and popular artist, there is an amazing lack of information on the internet about her.  And you know I looked, because that’s just the kind of nosy fucker I am. I love the art of Erika Oller.  Mainly watercolors showing fat old ladies (gee why would this appeal to me) –…

Many people marvel at skills that I have accumulated – sewing, cooking, knitting, crocheting, embroidery, needle felting, bead weaving. It makes me laugh. You want to know my big secret? I read the fucking directions. Yup.  That’s it. That’s what the real name for “Home Economics” should be – “Read the Fucking Directions”. Just about…

Kaiser (yes, this is about Kaiser again) wants you to make an appointment for lab services. It’s good to want things. However, since Kaiser’s lab appointments are usually booked solid a week (or more) in advance; unless you are in absolutely no hurry, you have to going as a walk-in. And because Kaiser is huge…

If you are going to do theater – or any kind of singing – invest in a good (and big) thermos.  You’re going to need it. Key to vocal health is hydration and keeping the muscles warm and wet.  Some people have special recipes for their “throat juice”. I don’t go in for the exotic…

I can be very easy-going.  No, really.  Ask my husband. On the other hand I can be a total blazing bitch and stickler for rules. No, really.  Ask my husband. This is what happened during my recent surgery.  I was provided with the rules.  I followed the rules.  Kaiser did not follow the rules and…

Here’s the thing.  When a fat person has a boo-boo part, it is hard to keep the pain at bay. This is because when you are fat all over, and you move – everything moves. It’s like tossing a stone into a pond – the movement “ripples” out to the parts you had no intention…

Does anyone else remember all the homes that used to sell bunches of gladiolas this time of year?  They all had signs out front and a bucket with bunches of gladiolas. Maybe people were more trustworthy then? Or maybe it was because you bought glads for your mom and what kind of scungy-mungy gave their…

So.  Dealing with Kaiser is such an adventure.  Sorry this is so long, but I just want to get it all out in one blast. I already blogged about the whole ignoring my requests that they make sure I am not scheduled for the Surgery Center if they still have their BMI restrictions in place.…