THIS FAT OLD LADY IS DOING GOOD

Last week, me and hubby were on vacation.  We didn’t wander far – just to the Canadian Lakes region (Mecosta County – near Big Rapids).  We had stayed in that area before and liked it a lot.  Last time, the units were like town houses.  This time, we stayed at the St Ives Inn (part…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S FOOTWEAR

Admit it. When you reach a certain age (as I have, and then some), you find you have a collection of these socks – in various colors. And you wear them. Even though you know everyone (or at least those of us of a certain age), knows what they represent. You know what? Who the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY REVISITS WORDS OF WISDOM

When making instant oatmeal in the microwave – ignore whatever those lying bastards are telling you on the packaging. You heat the water, add the oatmeal, stir and wait for it to thicken. Do NOT put the oatmeal into the water and then heat. The first way leads to a delicious morning treat. The second…

THIS FAT OLD LADY DID A THING

Okay.  I had a thing done to me. I finally got my knee replacement.  And it has been (and continues to be) an adventure. In case you are unaware, knee replacement is a fucking terrifying surgery.  They cut off a hunk of your tibia, hammer (yes hammer)  a spike into it (for the base of…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S OLD, OLD CAR

I drive a 2003 Toyota Corolla and I love that car.  I can go from home to Chicago on one tank of gas.  It has manual roll-down windows! That’s right. If I end up in the water, I want to be able to open my windows and get out and not be trapped because the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ADVENTURES IN HOME OWNERSHIP

Did you know that septic tanks have “grinder pumps”. (That’s something I really never ever wanted to think about – ever.) Well.  They do.  And ours died.  I don’t know what they do.  I (really, really, really) don’t want to know what they do.  All I know is if your grinder pump stops working, so…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S MAGICAL MYSTERY SNAFU

Mother of God (TIDBI).  Anybody still listening to my saga of trying to get knee replacement surgery?  I sure wish I could be done with rather than living this tale of epic fucked-upped-ness. Last time we saw our heroine (that would be me), her platelets had tumbled to 37.  Well below the 70 that the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY IS ALL SET FOR SURGERY AND NO WHERE TO GO

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! So my knee surgery is supposed to be tomorrow. It’s been almost a year of knee pain and while I am (was) terrified, I also wanted this done. Everybody agreed.  Platelets over 50 and we’re good. Then today the anesthesiologist decided to swerve out of their fucking lane and demand my hematologist put it…