When I was scheduled for my first (treadmill) stress test, the nurse took one look at me and said (or at least thought loudly), “Oh hell no.” Fast forward a few weeks, and I’m at the hospital for a chemical-induced stress test. They are so cute there. So worried about my modesty. What modesty? I’m…
Those who truly know me won’t argue the point; but just to be clear – my mood swings can rival those of any 2 year old. I had a boss who referred to me as Terrible Ter (yes, I asked him to stop and he did, wise choice Mr. Dynda). When I am hungry or…
Yes. It’s natural. No. I don’t know why my fat old lady hair has decided it’s time to have a party on my head.
Our fat cat Berta just keeps ringing up the bills. A couple of days ago, I’m ready to go to bed and Berta is not in her usual place near the hallway (so she can monitor any chance to be fed). Instead, she’s in the kitchen, sitting there. She doesn’t come when I call her. …
After today, I feel like I’m having to do a bunch of jobs someone else is being paid for. First. My primary physician no longer wants to prescribe Anastrozole (a drug for breast cancer survivors that reduces the risk of recurrence). He wants my hematologist / oncologist to take over. Usually, this would make perfect…
Ask my husband and he’ll tell you that I may have a tendency to drive a wee bit faster than I ought to. Okay, I tend to push it to the (speed) limit and then a bit beyond. Today, I enjoyed the benefits of being a fat old WHITE lady. I was late to water…
Snow, snow, snow. Weather app lies to us every fucking day. And we get more snow. And this fat old lady knows how to spend a snowy afternoon in Michigan. With a little help from her furry friends, that is.
And I know how much you guys like my stupid little rants about stuff that really, in light of the state of the world today, amount to nothing more than a fat old lady howling into the wind. Anyhow. We’re currently having a snowstorm. I wouldn’t quite call it a blizzard (being from Michigan and…
Not a collar for the cat, mind you. A fur collar made out of cat. And my nominee is ….. BERTA. Yes my tubby tuna cat; my two tons of fun, aka Burps or Blarp Cat. Last night, it is time for Berta’s insulin shot. I go to the cabinet and get the syringe; open…
I went back to the pool and had a wonderful time. I went and got my blood drawn afterwards. Note: Low normal for platelets is 150. My platelets are now at 12. That’s right – 12. Now that doesn’t mean I have 12 platelets left in my body, it means I have 12,000 platelets per…
You know what I feel like? Do you know what the picture below represents? Shit on a stick. My dear husband picked up the new “super flu”, aka subclade k. After almost 2 weeks, he is just getting better – inch by fucking inch. A week ago, I came down with it. The article I…
Last week, me and hubby were on vacation. We didn’t wander far – just to the Canadian Lakes region (Mecosta County – near Big Rapids). We had stayed in that area before and liked it a lot. Last time, the units were like town houses. This time, we stayed at the St Ives Inn (part…
Admit it. When you reach a certain age (as I have, and then some), you find you have a collection of these socks – in various colors. And you wear them. Even though you know everyone (or at least those of us of a certain age), knows what they represent. You know what? Who the…
When making instant oatmeal in the microwave – ignore whatever those lying bastards are telling you on the packaging. You heat the water, add the oatmeal, stir and wait for it to thicken. Do NOT put the oatmeal into the water and then heat. The first way leads to a delicious morning treat. The second…
Okay. I had a thing done to me. I finally got my knee replacement. And it has been (and continues to be) an adventure. In case you are unaware, knee replacement is a fucking terrifying surgery. They cut off a hunk of your tibia, hammer (yes hammer) a spike into it (for the base of…
Thoughts from a Fat Old Lady 