Ask my husband and he’ll tell you that I may have a tendency to drive a wee bit faster than I ought to. Okay, I tend to push it to the (speed) limit and then a bit beyond. Today, I enjoyed the benefits of being a fat old WHITE lady. I was late to water…
Snow, snow, snow. Weather app lies to us every fucking day. And we get more snow. And this fat old lady knows how to spend a snowy afternoon in Michigan. With a little help from her furry friends, that is.
And I know how much you guys like my stupid little rants about stuff that really, in light of the state of the world today, amount to nothing more than a fat old lady howling into the wind. Anyhow. We’re currently having a snowstorm. I wouldn’t quite call it a blizzard (being from Michigan and…
Not a collar for the cat, mind you. A fur collar made out of cat. And my nominee is ….. BERTA. Yes my tubby tuna cat; my two tons of fun, aka Burps or Blarp Cat. Last night, it is time for Berta’s insulin shot. I go to the cabinet and get the syringe; open…
I went back to the pool and had a wonderful time. I went and got my blood drawn afterwards. Note: Low normal for platelets is 150. My platelets are now at 12. That’s right – 12. Now that doesn’t mean I have 12 platelets left in my body, it means I have 12,000 platelets per…
You know what I feel like? Do you know what the picture below represents? Shit on a stick. My dear husband picked up the new “super flu”, aka subclade k. After almost 2 weeks, he is just getting better – inch by fucking inch. A week ago, I came down with it. The article I…
Last week, me and hubby were on vacation. We didn’t wander far – just to the Canadian Lakes region (Mecosta County – near Big Rapids). We had stayed in that area before and liked it a lot. Last time, the units were like town houses. This time, we stayed at the St Ives Inn (part…
Admit it. When you reach a certain age (as I have, and then some), you find you have a collection of these socks – in various colors. And you wear them. Even though you know everyone (or at least those of us of a certain age), knows what they represent. You know what? Who the…
When making instant oatmeal in the microwave – ignore whatever those lying bastards are telling you on the packaging. You heat the water, add the oatmeal, stir and wait for it to thicken. Do NOT put the oatmeal into the water and then heat. The first way leads to a delicious morning treat. The second…
Okay. I had a thing done to me. I finally got my knee replacement. And it has been (and continues to be) an adventure. In case you are unaware, knee replacement is a fucking terrifying surgery. They cut off a hunk of your tibia, hammer (yes hammer) a spike into it (for the base of…
I drive a 2003 Toyota Corolla and I love that car. I can go from home to Chicago on one tank of gas. It has manual roll-down windows! That’s right. If I end up in the water, I want to be able to open my windows and get out and not be trapped because the…
Did you know that septic tanks have “grinder pumps”. (That’s something I really never ever wanted to think about – ever.) Well. They do. And ours died. I don’t know what they do. I (really, really, really) don’t want to know what they do. All I know is if your grinder pump stops working, so…
Mother of God (TIDBI). Anybody still listening to my saga of trying to get knee replacement surgery? I sure wish I could be done with rather than living this tale of epic fucked-upped-ness. Last time we saw our heroine (that would be me), her platelets had tumbled to 37. Well below the 70 that the…
The short story – my surgery was once again canceled. Want to know why? You’re going to have to read the long story: But hey – I got one step closer to surgery today! I was actually scheduled. Then the curtain went up on my own personal shit show. I went and got my blood…
Much less eating it. Do I even want to think about what “Cowboy Butter” is?
Thoughts from a Fat Old Lady 