THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ME MONDAY – WHAT?

Every year, AARP members can take an audiology test using their phone. Every year, I take this test and every year the results are within normal range for both ears. Except this year.  This year, both ears were below normal range – for my age. Well, shit. Okay.  They recommend you contact your healthcare provider…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S TBT – JUST READ THE DIRECTIONS

Many people marvel at skills that I have accumulated – sewing, cooking, knitting, crocheting, embroidery, needle felting, bead weaving. It makes me laugh. You want to know my big secret? I read the fucking directions. Yup.  That’s it. That’s what the real name for “Home Economics” should be – “Read the Fucking Directions”. Just about…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S TBT – GLADIOLAS

Does anyone else remember all the homes that used to sell bunches of gladiolas this time of year?  They all had signs out front and a bucket with bunches of gladiolas. Maybe people were more trustworthy then? Or maybe it was because you bought glads for your mom and what kind of scungy-mungy gave their…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ME MONDAY – HERE I SIT

Tomorrow is my lumpectomy for breast cancer. Here I sit, freshly scrubbed and shampooed, wrapped in a towel. Waiting. I have to wait an hour and then wipe down with antiseptic body wipes. I am supposed to use 1 wipe for each of the designated areas of my body. There are four designated areas to…