THIS FAT OLD LADY NEEDS A NEW CAT COLLAR

Not a collar for the cat, mind you.  A fur collar made out of cat.  And my nominee is ….. BERTA. Yes my tubby tuna cat; my two tons of fun, aka Burps or Blarp Cat. Last night, it is time for Berta’s insulin shot.  I go to the cabinet and get the syringe; open…

THIS FAT OLD LADY IS DOING GOOD

Last week, me and hubby were on vacation.  We didn’t wander far – just to the Canadian Lakes region (Mecosta County – near Big Rapids).  We had stayed in that area before and liked it a lot.  Last time, the units were like town houses.  This time, we stayed at the St Ives Inn (part…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S FOOTWEAR

Admit it. When you reach a certain age (as I have, and then some), you find you have a collection of these socks – in various colors. And you wear them. Even though you know everyone (or at least those of us of a certain age), knows what they represent. You know what? Who the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY REVISITS WORDS OF WISDOM

When making instant oatmeal in the microwave – ignore whatever those lying bastards are telling you on the packaging. You heat the water, add the oatmeal, stir and wait for it to thicken. Do NOT put the oatmeal into the water and then heat. The first way leads to a delicious morning treat. The second…

THIS FAT OLD LADY DID A THING

Okay.  I had a thing done to me. I finally got my knee replacement.  And it has been (and continues to be) an adventure. In case you are unaware, knee replacement is a fucking terrifying surgery.  They cut off a hunk of your tibia, hammer (yes hammer)  a spike into it (for the base of…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S OLD, OLD CAR

I drive a 2003 Toyota Corolla and I love that car.  I can go from home to Chicago on one tank of gas.  It has manual roll-down windows! That’s right. If I end up in the water, I want to be able to open my windows and get out and not be trapped because the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ADVENTURES IN HOME OWNERSHIP

Did you know that septic tanks have “grinder pumps”. (That’s something I really never ever wanted to think about – ever.) Well.  They do.  And ours died.  I don’t know what they do.  I (really, really, really) don’t want to know what they do.  All I know is if your grinder pump stops working, so…