We got a notice in the mail that PG&E would be turning off our electricity for some kind of maintenance work on Thursday.  The power would be turned off for some period between 8-9 a.m., and again between 3-4 p.m.

Okay.

Got it.

Even hung it on the refrigerator so we wouldn’t forget.

Comes Thursday, I’m sound asleep between 8 and 9 (having totally forgotten this was power off day) when I suddenly can’t breathe.

I wear a CPAP when I sleep.

Without electricity, your CPAP doesn’t work.

So without electricity, you are wearing something over your nose connected to a big hose that isn’t doing anything except preventing air from getting to you.

That’s a hell of a way to start your day.

But, okay, my bad – I was warned.

That afternoon, I’m at my computer when I realize that it is about 3:45 – and the power hasn’t gone off.

To me that means, within the next 15 minutes the power will go off.  So I shut everything down, and went and laid down on the bed and read.

I set my cell phone alarm, in case I should fall asleep – because remember my beauty sleep was interrupted this morning due to a sudden and persistent lack of air.

My cell phone alarm goes off, and it is now after 4 p.m.

My husband tells me the power never did go off.

Okie-dokie.

I figure PG&E must not have needed that second power cut – because surely they wouldn’t be so rude to turn off electricity AFTER the time THEY fucking scheduled.

Right?

RIGHT?

RIGHT?????????

I sit down at my computer, start to boot up and sure as shit – the power goes off.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Now, I don’t know if you know this, but when you shut off the power to a computer – the computer generally doesn’t like it.

But if you shut off the power to a computer that is in the middle of booting up?

Now you have one pissed off piece of machinery.

After the power comes back on, I go to boot up.

I get the message about how the computer was shut down in a non-acceptable way, but if you don’t do anything, it’s just going to start, in 3 … 2 … 1

Everything looks okay.

Fine.

Except I get a weird thing from OneDrive saying that something has been corrupted and fuck you.

Then I try to bring up Google Chrome and I get another something is corrupted and double-fuck you.

I now realize that something is very very wrong.

FUCK.

I turn off the computer.

Start it again.

Now the computer says, you can start this if you want, but first you are going to do a scan, in 3 .. 2.. 1.

The scan (which is in three parts) seems to lock up midway through part 2.

fuck.

Turn it off.  Start it again.  Get told it’s going to do a scan in 3 … 2 … 1

And thank God (that I don’t believe in), the scan runs all the way through.

Something about a couple indexes being bad and so the computer deleted them and (holding my breath) – everything else is back to working fine.

All because PG&E apparently can’t tell time.

And these are the yahoos we’re trusting to keep from setting California on fire?

Oh boy.