WHAT IS THAT FAT OLD LADY DOING IN THERE?

  We all can hazard a guess on what an adolescent male is doing when he is in the bathroom for an inordinate amount of time. But what about fat old ladies? In particular, this fat old lady. Well, I’ll tell you, how long I am in the bathroom depends on just how hard the…

THIS FAT OLD LADY LIVES IN THE LAND OF FLUFF

(did somebody say hair cut?) Our “middle” cat, Oliver is a big gray mound of fluff. Ollie’s momma was a feral cat and his early kittenhood apparently left him convinced that humans are, for the most part, scary creatures bent on killing him, or at least causing grieveous bodily injury. He has adjusted to me…

THIS FAT OLD LADY HAS BLUE EYES, DAMMIT.

BLUE DAMMIT! My passport expired. They do that after ten years. So I get the application (available online), fill it out, go to CVS and get my picture took, write the check and send the whole thing (along with my expired passport) off to the State Department. My husband sent his in at the same…

THIS FAT OLD LADY FINDS HER HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH

And no it isn’t Disneyland. However, it is Disneyland adjacent. I tagged along with my husband to a conference held at the Hyatt Regency Orange County in Garden Grove – maybe a half mile down the road from the Land of the Mouse. I am now officially in love with this hotel. We check in…

THIS FAT OLD LADY ON DRIVING TO AND FROM LOS ANGELES

I have learned that when you drive from San Jose to Los Angeles (and back), you do so one asshole at a time. And as my dear husband points out, there’s always more assholes. Here are the most common assholes you will find on this drive (keeping in mind most of the way is 2…

THIS FAT OLD LADY HAS A COUPLE BELLY-RUB BOYS

This is Stella – Go ahead – touch my belly – you know you want to. As you may know, many (if not most) cats do not like their belly touched. You may even have the scars to prove it. Cats take particular glee in this. They will roll over exposing that soft soft fluffy…