THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ME MONDAY – THE MORE THINGS CHANGE …

That’s the saying – The more things change the more they stay the same.  Right?

So here I am, once again, with the same ol’ same ol’ “back” pain.  Just like last year.

Except, just like last year, it’s not really my back – it’s more the right side at and above the waist; which leads me to believe the problem is a strained right internal oblique muscle – you know, just like last year. 

Just like last year, the trouble started slow and picked up steam and now my back spasms – A LOT  and without warning.  Just like last year.

Unlike last year, the worst pain is after I have been laying down in bed – for even a few minutes.  Which truly sucks, because that means a nap isn’t worth the resultant pain; even laying down to rest for a few minutes isn’t worth the pain.  And going to bed at night is really scary because in the morning I’m in for a whole buttload of pain (fat old lady sized buttload – not some cute little young perky buttload).

At first, when I got up, the pain would be bad, but once up the pain would go away.  Those halcyon days are now over.  The pain is there almost all the time (although almost crippling when I first get up) – despite Aleve (which stopped helping), despite handfuls of ibuprofen.  And the spasms are just laying in wait, to make me freeze and scream, as softly as I can manage so I don’t scare the cats or my husband. 

I tried the exercises the physical therapist gave me last year and they do not help at all.  In fact, they seem to exacerbate the problem. 

So, like last year I have emailed my primary physician.

However, unlike last year, I did not wait for months and months – I don’t have time for this bullshit this year.  I don’t have time to wait and hope the pain slowly goes away.  I am singing for the last time in the Bay Area in less than a month. I am getting on a plane. I am going house hunting.  And I am moving to Michigan. 

Ain’t nobody got time for this shit.

And like last year, my primary has ordered x-rays.  Even though, I pointed out (as I did last year) that the problem is most likely muscle and not bone.  Because bones don’t spasm.

I already know the x-rays will show moderate to severe degenerative arthritis of my spine.  Just like last year.  But, I’m going to get those x-rays and then hopefully we can move on to something that is actually helpful.  Like a referral to an orthopedist or an in-person appointment with a physical therapist.

Because – and I repeat – ain’t nobody got time for this shit.

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