The first WTF is I didn’t post for Theater Tuesday.  WTF?

The fuck was I just couldn’t deal with it.

Why (you might well ask)?

Because a couple of weeks ago I had my first mammogram since having surgery and radiation treatment for breast cancer.

And 2 days after the mammogram I got a call that they needed me to come back in.

This is not what you want to hear. Ever. But particularly on your first mammogram after having dealt with breast cancer. 

Shortly after the call my gynecologist sent me the information from the pathology report.  It might as well have been written in sanskrit.  I had no idea what it meant (and I am a certified medical transcriptionist). I tried googling the fuck out of it, but I still couldn’t make heads or tails out of it – except it could mean cancer or not.  (Thanks a buttload internet.)

Needless to say, I was in a tizzy.  Nay, more than a tizzy, I was in a downward spiral. 

I e-mailed my oncologist with the information from the pathology report and, thank god (TIDBI), she responded quickly that it’s most likely scar tissue from the surgery or fluid. 

Now, was that so hard, Kaiser? 

Was it so difficult to have my oncologist review my first mammogram and let me know that, even though they needed to take more look-sees, it was not unusual, it was probably something not so scary and, in fact, predictable?

So that’s my first issue on how Kaiser handled this.  Why is my problematic mammogram run through my gynecologist’s office when I have an oncologist? 

Then yesterday, I receive what appears to be a form letter from my gynecologist – basically telling me that I needed to get that second mammogram and if it’s cancer, Kaiser has it covered.

WTSF? 

Don’t send out some form letter to a breast cancer survivor that implies it quite possibly could be cancer – and especially don’t send it out when, given the circumstances (surgery and radiation treatment) it most likely isn’t cancer. 

Jesus, Mary and Joseph riding on a bicycle. 

So today I had my second mammogram.  Let me tell you, it hurt. A lot.  At one point the pain was so bad that I was panting to get through the pain – which is not great when they want you to hold your breath. 

The nice thing is, they had the radiologist look at the results immediately and let me know.  The even nicer thing is – it’s not cancer.  (They didn’t actually tell me what it is, I was simply told there’s no sign of cancer.)

What wasn’t so nice, is the radiologist came to the dressing room area to tell me – you know, where everyone sits in their little (or, in my case, really big) gown and wait to be called in for their mammogram, and told me there.  Ever hear of HIPAA Kaiser? 

For fuck’s sake.

So I’m processing.  I’m processing my relief that the cancer isn’t back and I’m processing my anger with how Kaiser handled the whole thing.