THIS FAT OLD LADY’S THEATER TUESDAY – HOW MUCH IS TOO MUCH

Makeup.

People who have been in theater for a long time tend to have an inordinate amount of makeup.

I have been in the theater for a long time.

And I have the makeup to prove it.

There are three reasons for the accumulation.

First, you are constantly on the hunt for the perfect foundation/base makeup; lipstick color; etc.

Second, from time to time, you are required to use specialty makeup – age makeup; some kind of extreme makeup, etc.

Third, you can’t get rid of a damn thing because – well, you might need that and not be able to find it again.

The fear of not being able to find a product again is real.

I live with it constantly.

I used to use Max Factor natural rose (or some such shit) pancake makeup.

I loved that stuff.  It was the perfect shade; it was water based, so you didn’t have to deal with grease and adding powder.  It was easy to layer – to cover up shadows under your eyes, hickeys (no slut shaming), you name it.  And it stayed where you put it until you washed it off.

And they don’t make it anymore.

You used to be able to go to your local drugstore and pick it up for $5.00.  You can still get Max Factor pancake makeup – $60 or so on Ebay; or $119 – 200 on Amazon!  And none of them even have my shade! 

Everything has gone over to “cream”. 

That means, quasi-greasy shit.  I hate putting greasy (even quasi-greasy) stuff on my face.  You put it on and then you have to powder yourself to death or when you touch your face you’ll end up with a smear.  Cream is easier for blending – if you use cream rouge/blush/highlight/shadowing or liner – and, of course, I prefer powder. 

Go watch RuPaul’s Drag Race and watch them powder and powder and powder and then wait for their makeup to “bake”. 

I have tried liquid, panstik, cream and powder-cream foundation. 

They all have their pluses and minuses.  But none of them are as good as good old pancake makeup.

And I have pretty much given up on ever finding the right shade of foundation again.

So here I sit with my (fading) good looks and no way to recapture my glory days. 

Guess I’ll have to make some new ones.

Too bad my makeup won’t be as good.

A little powder, please!

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