Not the ones on her punkin’ head.

I stopped dying long ago – it just wasn’t worth the battle.

No, I mean my home town, Bay City, Michigan, where I hope one day to retire.

Many years ago, I was thinking I would like to try living in Alaska.

This was pre-internet in every home days.  In fact, we didn’t even have it at work yet.

What’s a girl to do?

I figured out the best way to see what it’s like living somewhere, is to get the local newspaper!  And that’s what I did.

I was loving the cost of living.  The job opportunities.

Then one day I saw an ad by someone selling their car.

“Guaranteed to start in 60 below weather.”

Excuse me?

Yes, I had read that right.

60 f*cking below.

And that is why I don’t live in Alaska.

Now things are so much easier.

We have the internet.

And there are e-subscriptions to local newspapers.

Like The Bay City Times.

For $26 a year, I can read all about the goings on in my home town and home state.

And keep an eye out for any deal breakers.

So far, so good.

And hopefully, nobody there will post an ad about their car starting in 60 below weather!

(And yes, this is an actual photo of Bay City during the 1978 blizzard – just in case you thought I don’t know what I’m getting into moving back to Bay City)