THIS FAT OLD LADY GETS SNOTTY

snot

My head has turned into a snot machine; and I don’t even have bad allergies – just the mildly unpleasant kind.

I keeping seeing FB posts about people being laid out with allergies and I should be (and I suppose I am) grateful that mine aren’t like that; but still, how much snot can one person swallow?

And then there’s the watery itchy eyeballs thing. It used to be that when eyes looked and felt like this, it was proof that I had survived another night of riotous revelry. Now it just means that every fucking plant in the neighborhood wants to have sex – with my eyeballs and sinuses apparently.

In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love; and my nose turns into a snot spigot.

 

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