THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP, KAISER

Okay, the back pain, spasms, etc. that I had (for months) last year are back for a repeat performance on the let’s make This Fat Old Lady’s Life a Misery Tour.

I had x-rays done and they sent me the results the same day.  Great.  Except, who the fuck understands this shit?  Seems like there’s three things going on with my spine – are they serious, is one or more causing this recurrent pain, is there something I can do about it?

Who the fuck knows?  Certainly, not me.

I had an appointment with my psychologist today.  I am in a really dark place right now because of all the Kaiser crap I’ve been wading through.  I told her about ALL of it.  All she had to say was how she can see how frustrating that must be.

No shit Sherlock. 

She asked me what I was doing to take care of myself, she asked me what I wanted from her, she asked me what I wanted to talk about. 

She didn’t seem to understand that I am totally out of spoons and fucks to give about anything.  I am doing the best I can to exist. 

What do I want from her – for her to do her job and help me. 

Seems she has nothing either, so the appointment ended. 

I’d like to crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head, but laying down just makes my back worse. 

One thought on “THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – THANKS FOR ALL THE HELP, KAISER

  1. Am SO sorry you’re still going through such intolerable shit with Kaiser – you’re showing amazing self-
    control, since have yet to hear a news story about a crazy lady bombing a Kaiser facility in NorCal (you’re
    thinking about it, though, aren’t you, and it’s SO soothing to let it percolate in your mind…)

    You WILL get through this – there’s always another side to come out to, generally better than the one you’re
    stuck in now. Just keep ranting here & it will help.

    We DO care, kiddo – really we do.

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