I am a fat old lady.
I cannot (or am not willing) to put my body through the rigors I once enjoyed in my youth.
But I have been in pain for 3 days now.
You know what I did?
I sat for 5 ½ hours.
I had breakfast with a friend and it turned into a 5 ½ hour marathon of great conversation.
I enjoyed every minute of it.
Five and one-half hours on a hard wooden chair at a table.
(And yes, I left a big ass tip for hogging the table up all that time.)
I was not in pain while I was sitting there.
I had no warning that my muscles were organizing a campaign of pain.
When I got home I was achy.
By that evening, I was in out-and-out pain.
And I am still in pain.
Ibuprofen doesn’t touch it.
Sleep doesn’t help it.
WTF body?
I could understand if I had done a bunch of exercise, or participated in a dance marathon, or any number of stupid things that I avoid because I know the result will be pain.
My motto is no pain – no pain.
But sitting is something I do a lot of anyhow.
My work requires sitting.
I tend to spend a lot of time just fiddle-farting around on my computer.
My hobbies are sitting-centric.
I have driven (and been driven) many hours in a car.
And, like most people my age, I get stiff if I sit too long without getting up.
But that stiffness goes away quickly. It certainly does not last overnight.
So this is a real mystery to me.
Well, you know what?
Fuck you fat old lady body.
I enjoyed every minute of that conversation and you can’t make me regret it.
You’re not the boss of me.
Yet.
Thoughts from a Fat Old Lady 
I am sorry about the pain & I send you lots of healing energy. However, I am laughing at the cartoon. I don’t quite step on my nipples, but it is hard to believe that 50 years ago, my boobs were so pert they were almost under my chin. Yep, getting old is quite the adventure. I hope that the pain goes away soon.
So sorry you’re in pain, do hope it eases and soon!
In the meantime, fab post! Great cartoon! 😁
Today is the first day the pain has begun to ebb. So things are looking up (wish my boobs were up too – but alas, gravity has had its way with them!)
Damn gravity 🤣. I’m glad to hear the pain is easing.
I CAN SO RELATE! I HAVE FIBROMYALGIA, DEGENERATIVE DISC DISEASE, NEUROPATHY & THAT’S JUST THE TIP. I WAS TAKING MEGA PAIN PILLS, THE ONES THEY BANNED..DOC TOOK ME OFF THE HYDROCODONE & SOMA COLD TURKEY AFTER 27 YEARS OF ALMOST PAIN FREE EXISTENCE. I WENT THROUGH A PSYCHOLOGICAL AS WELL AS PHYSICAL WITHDRAWAL AND THEN EVERYTHING STARTED TO HURT & GO DOWNHILL. FROM ARTHRITIS IN MY HANDS SO BAD THEY DO NOT EVEN LOOK LIKE MY HANDS! THEN THERE ARE THE RESIDUALS FROM THE NECK SURGERY TO REPLACE 2 CERVICAL DISCS AND THE LUMBAR SURGERY TO RELIEVE THE 24 YR OLD SCIATIC ATTACK! YEP THE DOCTORS AND GOVERNMENT REALLY FUCKED UP MY LIFE I NOW SPEND MOST OF MY TIME ON HERE TRYING TO HELP OTHERS WITH CHRONIC PAIN HOWEVER I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL, I JUST KNOW WHAT PAIN CAN DO TO MY WORLD, KEEP ME FROM MY THOUGHTS ESPECIALLY MY MEMORY ALSO MY COMPOSURE . SO THIS OLD HIPPIE LADY IS VERY MAD THAT THE GOVERNMENT KNOWS WHAT PAIN MEDS I NEED MORE THAN I DO, EVEN THOUGH IT TOOK 8 YEARS TO GET THE RIGHT COMBO OF MEDS TO HELP ME! OH HELL, I ‘M JUST GONNA STICK WITH MOTHER NATURES FINEST GREEN AND SMOKE MY WEED AND ENJOY MY LIFE…LISTEN TO THE GRATEFUL DEAD, BEATLES AND STONES ON YOU TUBE & TURN ON & TUNE OUT THE REST OF THE WORLD OUT ! {*I*} HAPPY HIPPIE WEEKEND!!
PEACE,
XOXO BEEPS XOXO
Chronic pain can be so debilitating. I am mystified that we can put a man on the moon, but we cannot find a way to manage pain in a safe and effective manner. Things that make me go grrrrr.
Hey, you’re writing my story. I’m also a fat (getting) old lady, with disabilities and I too am “sitting-centric.” I”m gong to steal that one. Thanks.