THIS FAT OLD LADY IS GETTING SOME MORE BEDROOM APPARATUS

Yes indeedy.

Turns out this fat old lady clenches and grinds in her sleep.

I assure you, this is not to be confused with bumping and grinding.

I am clenching and grinding my teeth while I am sleeping to the point where the pressure is making my teeth spread apart.

So, off I go to the dentist on Monday, and get fitted for a night guard!

After they do the mold and create a night guard to protect my pearly whites from my abusive nighttime practices, I will go to bed with a plastic horseshoe encasing my upper teeth.

I guess I should be grateful that my teeth still live in my mouth and not in a glass next to the bed, but still …

This should be the perfect complementary accessory to go with my CPAP nasal mask.

Who says senior citizens aren’t sexy?

Hubba, hubba.

bedtime

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