I know many people don’t like squirrels.
I’m not (generally) one of those people.
I think squirrels were put on this earth to amuse us humans (and taunt our cats and dogs).
Like most of our favorite animals, they are cute, fuzzy, and not a little crazy.
However, they are also fucking thieving little yard rats.
I can deal with them stealing the birdseed out of the feeders.
I can deal with them stripping off the corn cobs we put out in a matter of minutes.
I can deal with them wanting to eat the seed laden suet we put out for the birds.
I cannot deal with the little fuckers stealing the metal suet feeders, chain and all, with almost a full load of seed laden suet!
And not just one of them – two of them!
That’s right, they took two reasonably heavy metal suet feeders off of the hooks they hung from, both full of bird seed suet – and left nary a trace.
WTF?
How do the little bastards do it?
Do they have little squirrel trucks they can back up to the metal hangers, so they can drop the suet and metal feeders into the back and drive off with their ill gotten gains?
They may be cute, fuzzy and crazy – but they also clearly possess master criminal minds!
And fuck them. I’m not going to go out and buy more suet holders.
Not unless I can find ones that come with heavy chains and padlocks.
Little thieving fuckers.
Thoughts from a Fat Old Lady 
How do they do it? CAFFEINE! Yeah – check to see if the squirrels are getting a Starbucks fix somewhere. At my last office, we had squirrels everywhere — old neighborhood, lots of
big trees,and the Sunset Marquis Hotel, where I think the valets got a kick out of leaving coffee for the squirrels & those little buggers were rocket-powered. Actually saw a couple
of them make off with a small tree limb that must have weighted 10 pounds, no effort at all.
You may have a neighbor playing supplier to your addicted little squirrels – explains a lot.
That’s hilarious. Come to think of it, they opened a Bigby’s Coffee just down the road recently!