THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – WHAT ISN’T WTF?

OMG (TIDBI –(That I Don’t Believe In”).

We got lightning and thunder and rain in August!

The hills are alive with wildfires.

We have a record-breaking heatwave.

PG&E keeps threatening to turn the power off.

And I got puking cats.  Or rather, one puking cat.

Why does Leo hate me?

The other night, I had just gone to bed when I hear that make-you-wide-awake sound of a cat puking.

Copiously.

Fuck.

I could have ignored it, pretended I never heard it, and let Bill deal with it in the morning – but I just couldn’t ruin Bill’s morning like that.

So I get up.  In the dark.  I walk to the living room – carefully – oh so carefully – trying to ascertain where the puke puddle was.

As I go for the living room light switch …

Found it.

Stepped in it.

With my bare feet.

YUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.

Walking the best I can on the heels of my feet, I head for the bathroom, where I clean off the yuck.

OMG (TIDBI) OMG (TIDBI) OMG (TIDBI)

Get my feet clean, and go deal with the huge puke puddle.

Next morning.  I wake up.  Get out of bed.

And I see, right where I should have stepped (but for some reason didn’t this morning) – another puke puddle.

LEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WTF LEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then nature let loose on our punkin’ heads.

Heatwave (Thank God (TIDBI) we got the A/C installed); a real thunderstorm (something that is extraordinarily rare in California), complete with rain and a lot of lightning – a lot of lightning that started fires all over creation; including the Santa Cruz Mountains and Monterey and San Mateo – all of which are within breathing distance of us.  It looks like we have medium-bad fog and smells like a smokehouse.

And PG&E is threatening everyone with rolling blackouts.

WTF PG&E.

In the first place, you should already have the power off everywhere there is a fire – which is pretty much everywhere – so your power lines don’t make things worse.  In the second place, just fuck you PG&E.  It’s fucking August in California – you didn’t know there would be FUCKING HOT weather?

So I’m staying inside (like that’s a big change in my routine) with the A/C on (not so that we have icicles forming on our noses but enough to keep from melting away) and being VERY careful where I step.

Fucking weather.

Fucking fires.

Fucking PG&E.

Fucking Leo!

Leo2

 

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