A lot of fat people feel terrorized by the scale.
I can absolutely respect this.
Fat people are subject to all kinds of abuse and discrimination simply because of the number on a scale.
Sometimes that abuse comes from others, sometimes from within.
I don’t let the scale rule my life, but I do weigh myself from time to time.
Just to check in on what my body is doing.
This morning I decided I wanted to weigh myself.
I put the scale down (it lives tucked away next to my bathroom vanity).
And I put one toe on it, to wake it up, as is my custom.
I try again, one toe, a little harder this time.
I put a whole old fat lady foot on the scale.
I stomp on the fucking thing.
I stand on it and “jump” (at fat old ladies do not catch a lot of air) on it.
Clearly, the batteries are dead.
But all I can hear in my head is:
“Ding, dong the witch is dead …”
I know I didn’t, but I still feel like the great and terrible