THIS FAT OLD LADY IS HOT – AND NOT IN THE GOOD WAY

sweating

 

Do not tell me global warming is not real or “questionable”.  I have now lived in San Jose for over 20 years and summers never used to be this hot.  You’d get a few days in a row of really hot weather a few times each summer and that would be it.  Now it is so fucking hot most of the time and we do not have air conditioning, because you didn’t need air conditioning to get through a few really hot days.  You parked your ass in front of a fan and dealt with it, knowing the heat would soon move on.

Having said this, this past week has been not too bad heat-wise.  So why, when I walked into the den (or the “woman cave” as my husband calls it) did it feel so over-the-top hot?  It’s not like the room has glass walls and ceiling.  In fact, it’s not much in the direct sun thanks to the big old tree that is next to our house.

Ugh.

You see, the trouble with being hot is you can only take off so many clothes.  When you’re cold you can always put some more on.

But this seemed unnaturally hot.

Had the devil finally come to seek his due?  Had a portal to hell opened up in my woman cave?  (Nah – no teens living here, and my understanding from movies is that a portal requires at least one stupid teen and his/her equally stupid friends to achieve this).

Well, last night, as the den refused to cool off, I finally discovered the problem.

Once again, one of our enterprising kitties had turned the heat on (we have wall radiators) – FULL BLAST.  This would take some determination on the part of the furry fart-bag to accomplish.

I guess temps (in and out of the house) of over 80 degrees was just not sufficient for somebody’s delicate constitution.

Fucking cats.

Oh, and since my husband’s closet has been torn up from the remediation from the leak in his bathroom, the futon – which blocks access to the heater, is piled with clothing (with hangars) and bedding.

Picture if you will, a fat old lady trying to mount a mound of clothes (and hangars – ow, ow, ow) and bedding in order to get to the fucking control.

It is not a pretty picture, I assure you.

Fucking fucking cats.

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