THIS FAT OLD LADY WANTS TO RUN AWAY TO ST. MARIE

  St. Marie Island. In the Caribbean. Only, it doesn’t exist. Rats. It’s the make-believe locale of a wonderful British TV show called Death in Paradise. It is good old fashioned detective show at its best.  Right down to the gathering of all of the suspects at the end for the announcement of who and…

THIS FAT OLD LADY DODGES A BULLET

    Okay.  Not a bullet. A show. Being cast in a show. First, I hope nobody thinks this is sour grapes.  Because it truly is not.  I would have been honored to have been cast in this show, and the people who were cast are fabulously talented and will be fabulous in the show.…

THIS FAT OLD LADY TAKES OUT HER JEANS

  A rare photo of me wearing jeans from “back in the day”. Takes out.  Not lets out. I’m doing laundry.  Sitting on the edge of the bed folding clothes, when I feel something in my “jeans” (okay, really jeggings) give.  It feels just like a seam ripping.  I’m checking all the seams and can’t find…

THIS FAT OLD LADY GOES BACK TO THE FUTURE

  We have a new microwave. Our old microwave died.  Our old microwave is no more.  It has ceased to be.  It is bereft of life.  It rests in peace. It is an ex-microwave. Our old microwave was a very old microwave, and it served us well for many (many) years. I was so looking forward to…

THIS FAT OLD LADY GETS HER ROOTS DONE

  I have lousy teeth.  I have always had lousy teeth, and hence, a great fear of dentists. My mouth is full of crowns and bridgework. I thought once your teeth were covered up with a crown/bridge, you didn’t have to worry about them anymore.  Except for maybe a cavity at the edge. Wrong. I…

THIS FAT OLD LADY GETS CAT BURGLED

Literally. Every year, my dear Aunt in Michigan makes hand knit mice which are stuffed with her homegrown catnip. Needless to say, she is our cats’ favorite Aunt. Ever. These mice last the full year – well chewed and licked and loved. For some reason, these mice are also a prime target for mail theft.…