Not the ones on her punkin’ head. I stopped dying long ago – it just wasn’t worth the battle. No, I mean my home town, Bay City, Michigan, where I hope one day to retire. Many years ago, I was thinking I would like to try living in Alaska. This was pre-internet in every home…
Okay, not me, but my credit card has been compromised. Fuck. I hate this. It’s not my first time around this particular block. For a while, every year, right after Christmas my credit card # would be compromised; and they’d have to send me a new one. But I’ve had my current card for a…
My mother was not a great cook. In fact, there were a limited number of things she could cook well, and the rest was pretty awful. But one thing about my mother’s cooking was consistent. When my mom cooked, she would use every pot and pan in the house. We had no idea how (or…
Remember, your words become you. Be careful of the words you choose to live by. From the Ugly Conference, here is a list of some of my personal “words to live by”: You can’t scare me, I work with attorneys. You can’t embarrass me. Words matter. I am not a problem to be fixed. It’s…
I don’t know why, but I am feeling weepy today. Everything I’m feeling seems to be magnified. And yes I remembered to take my pills this morning (all of them, even my fat old lady let’s not be so crazy pills). Feeling nostalgic for home, family, and friends. My wonderful cousin Alice called this morning…
Yes indeedy. Turns out this fat old lady clenches and grinds in her sleep. I assure you, this is not to be confused with bumping and grinding. I am clenching and grinding my teeth while I am sleeping to the point where the pressure is making my teeth spread apart. So, off I go to…
It’s like your birthday, it only comes once a year – thank God. And I, like most women, have an endless supply of bitching to do about this once-a-year ordeal. As I get older (and I am so getting older), my concerns about getting a mammogram aren’t so much about pain – the technology has…
I had to go to my HMO today. Big surprise – parking is a nightmare. Actually, even worse than ever because they are doing some kind of construction with half of the parking lot. But, they have people there to direct you to parking places. That was nice. And then the guy directing people to…
My fat old lady ass has been at half-mast for quite a while now; and it was getting really bad during and after this last heatwave. All I wanted to do was sleep. And I would fall asleep lying in bed and reading or sitting in front of my computer. And all that sleep…
I went for almost 2 years without a haircut. I hate to admit it, but this isn’t all that unusual for me. When it comes to my hair, I’m not much of a girly-girl. I don’t know what to do with it, so I want it in a style that I can get by…
Thoughts from a Fat Old Lady 