THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – LEO LOSES HIS FUCKING MIND

That sweet brown tabby that I took a photo of swaddled in my cardigan (so I could work and hold him at the same time)? 

Well, today he is a cat crazed by his desire for Kit & Kaboodle dry cat food.

This is not gourmet cat food.  This is the cheap stuff.

But because it is the cheap stuff, they don’t get it often.  We have it right now because I thought we were running out of dry cat food (a true emergency in our home).  I had some on order but I picked this crap up just in case. 

Being the forgetful and panicky fat old lady that I am, I ordered way too much dry cat food (we are now set for the next year or so).  So now we are up to our proverbial tits in dry cat food.

Our cats are spoiled rotten (or well loved, depending on who you ask); and they get treats.  The treats are basically bribes to get them to let us do what we want to do (like go to sleep at night or take a pee).

Before I go to bed, Murphy and Leo get their preferred treats.  Murphy gets a little bit of kitty broth and Leo gets some Temptations cat treats. 

When I go to the bathroom, the boys either follow me in (which I am not a fan of) or they wait outside in the hallway (not a fan of either, but it’s better than screaming at cats to get out of the fucking way before I pee my pants). 

Their treat is a pill pocket each.  (I started this ill-advised routine because I had a large reservoir of post-Mochi pill pockets and besides using them up, I figured I was teaching them to think of pill pockets as treats – not something with a nasty surprise in the middle.) 

Anyhow.  I took the Kit & Kaboodle and put it into a container and put that in the bathroom, just so I could see if I could swap out the pill pockets for the less expensive Kit & Kaboodle. 

It worked.  BOY did it work.

Leo followed me into the bathroom (sigh); and I gave him a few Kit & Kaboodle crunchies.  He gobbled them up and then he yelled/yowled at me with his gravelly voice that he wanted MORE and he wanted it NOW. 

When the requested crunchies were not immediately forthcoming, he put his front feet on my knees (I guess so I could hear his demands more clearly) with just enough claw to make sure he had my undivided attention, and he actually fluffed up his tail at me.

This cat was serious.

I gave him some more.  And some more.  And some more. 

By then I was done peeing and wasn’t in such a vulnerable position, and I told him – enough.  He (wisely) decided not to push it.

But when I opened the bathroom door, there was Murphy.

Now, I am not physically or emotionally capable of giving one cat treats and not the other.  (Remember I grew up on Disney, and the one thing Disney teaches you is fair is fair.)

So I had to get two more (small) handfuls of Kit & Kaboodle (one for Murphy and one for Leo – so Murphy could eat his treats in peace).  Murphy ate some (I don’t think he was as impressed – remember he does have the more discerning palate), and Leo gobbled up everything he could reach as fast as he could.  (I am now praying that these gobbled Kit & Kaboodles do not make a sudden re-appearance later this evening.)

So post Kit & Kaboodle, all is quiet in the house.  I’m guessing Leo is sleeping off his little feast, and if Leo is sleeping, usually Murphy is close by (if not actually cuddled right up with Leo). 

So I’m thinking we’ll have no problem getting rid of the extra dry cat food, at least as far as the Kit & Kaboodle goes.

But Leo needs to calm the fuck down – clawing knees and fluffy tailing Mommy is not okay.

Of course, I also recognize that I when it comes to these two furry assholes who reside with us. I have no one to blame but myself.

Good thing they’re fucking cute furry assholes.

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