And oh, how I miss it.

What I seem to be losing is agility in thinking.

And the ability to multi-task in my thinking.

This is most obvious in trying to absorb new music.

Holy fuck.

Dealing with notes, words and rhythms.

My brain just gets increasingly numb.

And I get more and more frustrated with myself.

This shit used to be so easy.

Also, I am fucking up on appointments – a lot.

Getting the day or time or place wrong, forgetting altogether.

Even though I have it all in my Google calendar.

I just decide I know where and when I’m going – and more and more often, I’m just fucking wrong.

At least this is fixable – I just have to look at the fucking calendar!

WTF has happened?

I even looked up side effects on my latest meds.


Can’t even blame the meds.

Just me getting old and stupid – er.

I really try to keep my mind going.

I do sudoku.

I spend time every day on Duolingo, learning a new language (Spanish – it’s going slow but it is getting there – mostly).

I read – a lot.

I write this blog.

I work – with attorneys – okay, that could fry anyone’s brain, but I’ve been doing it for 40 years, so it’s not like it’s something new.

There are many other things I could/would like to do.

Play my ukulele; make my Dikke Dame dolls, beading, counted cross-stitch.

But there are only so many hours in the day, and I need to leave time for my comfort stuff – like doing jigsaw puzzles on the computer; and playing Funky Bay on Facebook.

And my not-so-comfort stuff – laundry, cooking, etc.

I am easing into old age pretty gracefully as far as the white hair and wrinkles go – but

Please God (that I don’t believe in) leave me my brain.

old brain

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