And oh, how I miss it.
What I seem to be losing is agility in thinking.
And the ability to multi-task in my thinking.
This is most obvious in trying to absorb new music.
Dealing with notes, words and rhythms.
My brain just gets increasingly numb.
And I get more and more frustrated with myself.
This shit used to be so easy.
Also, I am fucking up on appointments – a lot.
Getting the day or time or place wrong, forgetting altogether.
Even though I have it all in my Google calendar.
I just decide I know where and when I’m going – and more and more often, I’m just fucking wrong.
At least this is fixable – I just have to look at the fucking calendar!
WTF has happened?
I even looked up side effects on my latest meds.
Can’t even blame the meds.
Just me getting old and stupid – er.
I really try to keep my mind going.
I do sudoku.
I spend time every day on Duolingo, learning a new language (Spanish – it’s going slow but it is getting there – mostly).
I read – a lot.
I write this blog.
I work – with attorneys – okay, that could fry anyone’s brain, but I’ve been doing it for 40 years, so it’s not like it’s something new.
There are many other things I could/would like to do.
Play my ukulele; make my Dikke Dame dolls, beading, counted cross-stitch.
But there are only so many hours in the day, and I need to leave time for my comfort stuff – like doing jigsaw puzzles on the computer; and playing Funky Bay on Facebook.
And my not-so-comfort stuff – laundry, cooking, etc.
I am easing into old age pretty gracefully as far as the white hair and wrinkles go – but
Please God (that I don’t believe in) leave me my brain.