I am usually pretty good with tech stuff.  I use a computer for fun and profit every day.  I have a Kindle Fire.

But what I cannot seem to get a handle on, to save my soul (if I have one), is how to get my cell phone to behave like other people’s cell phones.

I am so jealous.  I see these people constantly on their phones, presumably doing all kinds of fascinating and amazing things with them.

Me?  Not so much.

First off, I am not a phone person.  I blame it on growing up in a house where use of the phone was strictly limited.  So I never got into the habit.

But now, I have a phone that I am supposed to use for all kinds of things that do not entail actually talking to someone else.

But I can’t figure it out.

My phone is hooked up for wifi.  My phone is hooked up to our home wifi.

But I cannot convince my phone that my e-mail account is with Yahoo.

Nope.  It claims it knows that is my e-mail account, but when I hit the e-mail icon – it tells me there is no e-mail.  WHICH IS A LIE!

Why does my phone lie to me?

I can take photos on my phone.

I can attach the photos to an e-mail.

But I cannot convince my phone to actually send that e-mail out because – who the fuck knows.

Oh, and if I don’t actually use my phone often enough – it SHUTS ITSELF OFF – AS IN, YOU CANNOT MAKE OR RECEIVE ANY CALLS – EVEN THOUGH YOU HAVE A BUTT LOAD OF MINUTES.

To fix the turn off issue, I have to contact the carrier (Tracphone) and spend an hour or so while they figure out what to do which generally means they have to send some long ass secret code to convince my phone that I do, indeed, have an active account with a butt load of minutes.

This makes me feel so incredibly old.  And angry.  Really, really angry.