THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY -PET FRIENDLY MY FAT OLD LADY ASS

So, as many of you know, we recently drove across country with two cats. 

To say the cats were less than pleased is an understatement but they were very well behaved – for cats.

We stayed only at hotels that were designated “Pet Friendly”. 

I have come to learn that “Pet Friendly” means we’re just going to charge you “x” number of dollars more because you have pets.

I also came to learn that when the hotel is talking about pets – they mean dogs.  Big dogs.

How do I know this (you might well ask) – because in all but one of the rooms we stayed in, there were little cat-sized hidey-holes where a cat could squeeze through and render itself unreachable by the hoomans. 

WTF?

By the way by “a” cat, I mean one orange tabby named Murphy; who has turned out to be one nervous Nellie of a cat and very talented at tucking himself in out-of-the-way (and out-of-sight) places.

One room had regular bed frames – so, you know the cats are going to head right under the bed and stay anywhere that the hooman cannot easily reach.  Bill had to move the whole bed.

All the other places had platform beds. 

Great!  ???  Nope!

All of the platform beds had little gaps where a cat could again get under the bed, and bonus – be even more unreachable.  Bill became something of an expert at moving mattresses.

After that, before releasing the cats, I would stuff pillows and/or towels into those little gaps much to the displeasure of our cats – okay one certain cat.  Berta could have given a shit because her furry butt is way too broad to fit in any but the most commodious hidey-spots.

Then, the most amazing room of all- again platform bed – with the gaps; which had all been blocked – only for me to look over and see Murphy about to disappear through a hole under the sink – leading to who-the-fuck-knows where.  I just caught him by the tail before he made good on his escape plans.  Nothing like trying to pull an uncooperative cat out of a hole under the sink by the tail. 

WTSF?

The hole was pretty large and with pipes nearby making blocking it a true challenge.  I finally got it, after numerous attempts, with some support from some of the bags we had with us. 

Maybe that’s what they meant by “pet friendly” – friendly to the cat – just not friendly to us hoomans who had to capture the cat each morning and stuff it into a cat carrier before they could hit the road each morning.

So, if you choose to travel with any animal smaller than say a full grown adult Great Dane – you may want to check your “pet friendly” hotel room, or you may have to stay there until you can locate and reclaim your pet.

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