THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ME MONDAY – JUST HOW THICK IS MY HIDE

Holy crap.

I always considered myself somewhat thick-skinned; but I never meant it in the literal sense. 

Until now. 

Because I have diabetes, I have to jab my fingers on a regular basis.

This is not usually a problem.  Blood doesn’t bother me and the jab hurts – but not that bad.  The anticipation is more bothersome than the actual jab. 

However, this week, I am starting to feel like a fucking pin cushion.

I don’t know why; maybe it’s the cold weather (?), but I am having to jab myself multiple times and squeezing my poor fingers so hard just to get the teensiest dab of blood.

What is up with that? 

So I have this machine that I can type in my questions and it answers pretty much anything, and I put it to use.  The machine tells me:

  1. If your finger is cold, warm the finger to increase blood flow.  (What if your fingers are always cold?  Like mine?)
  2. Do not squeeze or “milk” the finger.  (Are you fucking kidding me?  I’d never get enough blood if I didn’t squeeze!)
  3. If you are unable to get a sufficient amount of blood, you may need to switch to another area on the same finger, or switch to a different finger.  (Thanks a bunch Sherlock – but my last test – it took 6 tries – in various locations and fingers – I’m running out of places and fingers!)

So after some reading, I find out squeezing is an absolute no-no.  It fucks with your readings!  Why didn’t they ever tell me this?

Most people seem to suggest running hot water over your hands (I can do that), squeezing the area before you jab (I can also do that), and/or moving your hands a lot to get the blood flowing (and I can do that too).

However, my absolute favor answer is:

I will just play with my cat .He is kind of wild. If I can’t get blood from the lancet, I will play with the cat until he bites me or scratches me and draws blood and I will test it that way. 

Oh Leo ….

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