I was doing laundry today (as I do almost every Thursday) and I was folding my leggings. 

And I suddenly realized that leggings are really just stretch pants!

I was horrified! 

I would never wear stretch pants!

Would I?

And then I started thinking on how the use of leggings has morphed from them being appropriate as leg coverings to be worn under dresses, skirts and extra long tops.

The main prerequisite was that whatever you were wearing with your leggings had to be long enough to make sure nobody was going to be exposed to a (gasp) camel toe. 

Now, viewing someone’s camel toe is not a to-be-wished for experience (unless it’s attached to the actual foot of a real life camel).  I don’t want to see what you are packing between your legs – whether it is an inny or an outie or something in between. 

Then leggings became more substantial; and the tops acceptable to wear with them got shorter and shorter. 

And at some point, I argue leggings simply became stretch pants. 

Fuck me. 

I remember stretch pants. 

Of course, I’m so old that when people were wearing stretch pants, they often featured “stirrups”.  Oh boy!  Stirrups took an otherwise ugly piece of fashion and took it to a whole other level – now they weren’t just unattractive – they were uncomfortable too. 

Stirruped stretch pants were not meant for someone like me with long legs, where it simply became a constant battle between my stirruped feet trying to pull my pants down and me trying to keep my pants up. 

JM&J.  Who thought of this shit? (I suspect it’s the same people who came up with body suits with snap crotches!)

And just for the record.  Fat or thin.  If you are going to wear leggings, don’t wear them so tight that they are rendered virtually see-through. 

If you want to appear virtually naked in public, join a nudist colony; and leave me out of it. 

And this has nothing to do with the size or shape of the body.  It’s about me being exposed to glimpses of your naughty bits.  They are called your privates for a reason.