I have been in search of a good (read = fat old lady user friendly) vocal scrubber software.  It’s something you would use to create your own karaoke-like track from a CD. 

Mind you, I don’t want to become a fucking sound engineer. 

I just want to remove the vocal tracks from a song. 

It’s 2020 – this shouldn’t be hard, right?

Or, should I say, it’s 2020, and, while it’s good to want things, I’m just fucked anyway, right?

So I found one software, Vocal Remover. 

From the title, you would think this would be exactly what I needed.

It isn’t.

Not quite.

It does a really mediocre job of scrubbing vocals – despite the assurances implied by the program’s moniker.

Then I found a program called Unmixit. 

Unmixit got great reviews.  I went to the website – it even had a demo you could try. 

Which I did. 

And it seemed to work okay – or at least, it seemed to work better than Vocal Remover (not a high bar to reach). 

So I buy it. 

I go to download it.

Now, I have already downloaded the Demo from the site with no problem.  BUT (yes, it’s a big but – I cannot lie) I try to download the full version and I get one of two messages.

The first – is this is a boo-boo website, run away, run away, it’s unsecure, get your ass back to safety!

The second – is this website can’t be reached – the server IP address could not be found!  (Funny (and definitely not ha-ha funny), I thought I was just looking at it.)

WTF?

So I send an e-mail to Unmixit’s Contact Us.  I point out that they have confirmed my order and have my money, I send copies of the messages I’m getting when I try to obtain the product I just fucking paid for.  And I point out this is a lousy impression for a software company to make.  I also say, fix it or give my fucking money back (or words to that effect). 

No response.

Seriously? (grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr)

I send another e-mail to their Contact Us e-mail address.

No response.

WTSF. I am starting to lose my sunny disposition.

So I go to PayPal and put a dispute on the payment – having to reiterate the problem and everything I have done to resolve it.

You know what PayPal does? 

First, they suggest I try to resolve this with the vendor.

ARGH. YOU FUCKING JERKS, if I could do that why would I be wasting my time bitching to you? Also, I just spent a not unsubstantial amount of time letting you know HOW I have tried to resolve this with the vendor and HOW I GOT NO FUCKING RESPONSE. AT ALL!!!

Then PayPal tells me that they will send my description of the problem and what I have done to resolve it to UNMIXIT!

Well, thanks a fucking butt load PayPal! Never mind that I JUST TOLD YOU I ALREADY DID THAT – TWICE!!!!

So now I sit here in PayPal limbo until PayPal is convinced that sending e-mails to these ass hats doesn’t accomplish anything.  And then, hopefully, I’ll get my fucking money back.

Yeah, I have definitely lost my sunny disposition.