What is it with eggs?
Specifically, chicken eggs – as those are the only eggs that I have personal experience with and/or that I’m willing to talk about.
They are the only “baby” animal I will eat.
I don’t eat lamb. I don’t eat veal. I don’t eat babies.
Except for eggs – which, really, are only potential babies.
Just thinking about that is enough to make many people go “ewwwww”.
And I kind of agree.
Eggs are not only potentially babies, they are also potentially delicious or unspeakably gross.
I am the kind of person who cannot tolerate a soft yolk.
Don’t want that yellow oozy stuff on my plate – and I certainly don’t want it touching anything else I plan on putting in my mouth.
And I think we can all agree undercooked egg whites are the worst.
(If you like undercooked egg whites, please don’t tell me – I’ve already lost enough friends to politics this year.)
I mostly like my eggs scrambled – but well done scrambled – as in cook the living shit out of them because I don’t want any slimy underdone eggs.
The secret is, however, my favorite kind of eggs are poached eggs. Poached eggs that have been cooked with a dollop of butter, like my Grandma Harris used to make them.
I used to have a frying pan with a egg poacher insert that I loved, but it has been lost to the ages.
Now I use a microwavable egg poacher.
I use it to make us homemade Egg (Mc)Muffins every Saturday morning for breakfast.
It is a bastard to deal with. You have to cook the eggs in stages – and if you cook them too long or at too high a power level – KABOOM – you microwave is now decorated with partially cooked egg, that must be wiped up immediately before it turns into egg cement.
And speaking of which – why don’t we use eggs for building materials? Especially partially cooked eggs, but thoroughly cooked eggs work well too (as I can attest from when I forget to clean my egg poacher right after I use it and I need to practically sand blast the fucker clean again). That stuff is strong, binding, and lasts.
I used to like hard boiled eggs, but years of dieting have taken care of that.
You know how I like my eggs best?
In a cake.