I recently had my blood work done.
All the results came back great – except my blood glucose level – which is up.
Not crazy up, but up.
I’m not surprised. I am a type 2 diabetic (it runs in my family on both sides). I am fighting depression and anxiety on a daily basis – mostly because of the circumstances surrounding the pandemic and the person sitting in the White House and how I feel about what is happening in our country. (This is not an invitation for a political discussion, it is about my personal feelings and emotions.)
I know I have not been making “good” food choices. I have been choosing to eat many things that would cause my blood glucose numbers to rise.
I am behaving in a somewhat self-destructive manner in that I am not only making these choices, but I was also not doing any checks on my blood glucose. I have been burying my head in the sand and simply choosing not to know what I was possibly doing to my body and my health. I was (and still am) however taking all my meds as directed.
So now what?
Now I have to decide if I’m going to continue on my self-destructive path or not.
I am a diet survivor. I do NOT want to diet. Usually, diets are ultimately detrimental to the dieter’s mental and physical health.
I do not believe that food has a moral value. Food is neither good nor bad. Food is food.
I am not going to diet for weight loss. Dieting, in 90% + cases, leads to eventual gaining of weight.
So now what?
What I’m doing is trying to make better food choices. I am now testing and tracking my blood glucose levels on a regular basis, so I can determine the effects of the food I am choosing.
I am trying to concentrate on my body and the messages it is sending me – separating the physical signals from the mental/emotional ones.
Whatever I do, I know it needs to be sustainable. I need to know it’s not a diet, that nothing is forbidden and I need not to feel deprived, but, like all things in life, I need to be aware there are consequences to my choices.
But what I really am wondering is how do you differentiate dieting from making certain food choices?
Is it all about your intent?
Many diet programs now tout themselves as not being a “diet” but being a “lifestyle”. And I know that’s a big steaming load.
So what makes a diet?
The intent of weight loss? Okay, not doing that.
Calorie restriction? Not doing that either.
Food restriction? Ah … now, there you have me. I may restrict certain food choices. Not eliminate but restrict – because certain foods may have a deleterious effect on my blood glucose levels.
I’m lucky in one sense. I have educated myself on what diets are and the harm they do. I am on alert for “diet thinking” in myself – because if I go there, at best, it will not be helpful; and at worst, I could end up digging a deeper hole for myself physically and mentally.
One of the “signs” of dieting, in my experience, is how everything ends up focused on food – when can you eat next, what can you eat, and the effects of what you ate. I don’t want to go there – at all. And so far, so good. When I’m hungry I consider what I would like to eat and that’s it. I am not obsessing about it.
Another issue is, all of this takes a lot of mental energy and that is something I don’t have a lot of right now.
So I’m going to do what everyone does – the best I can at any given moment.
And that will have to be good enough.