THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – WTF CROCKPOT

I have been meaning to try out a new recipe for cooking a brisket in the crockpot.

Full disclosure, my Lucky Supermarket does not carry anything as exotic as a brisket, so I opted for a rib roast of the same weight called for in the recipe.

The recipe calls for the brisket to cook 8-10 hours, which means, I need to get this meat in the crockpot and cooking early in the day.

And I kept forgetting.

But yesterday, I woke up not as muddle-headed as usual, and actually remembered to get the roast in the crockpot – along with the sauce (2 bottles of chili sauce, Lipton onion soup mix, and garlic powder – it’s supposed to be 2 teaspoons of garlic powder, but I do it to taste – which for my taste means a buttload of garlic powder).

Yay me!!!

Now, I have almost no sense of smell, so I usually don’t get to enjoy the yummy aromas wafting from our itsy-bitsy kitchen while things are cooking.

But usually, by the end of the cooking process, I’ll be able to smell something.

No smells.

Dinner time approaches.

The crockpot (and its contents) are ice cold.

WTF?????

Yes, the crockpot was plugged in.

Yes, I turned it on.

Yes, the outlet works – because our coffee pot is also plugged in there and my dear husband had made a fresh pot for this coffee-guzzling fat old lady.

WTF????

I fucked with the plug – which may or may not have been not quite plugged all the way in – but really, not so’s you’d notice.

And I turned the switch all the way off, all the way to high, and all the way off again, then put it on low (the setting our meal was supposed to have been cooking at all fucking day).

And the fucking crockpot started heating up immediately.

Too little, too late.

But I guess I don’t need to order a new crockpot – yet.

So I turned it on and let the roast cook from about 5 pm until midnight.  Then I turned it off, and pulled the crock part out and let it cool enough that I could safely put it in the refrigerator.

Then today at around noon, I took it out of the refrigerator, put the crock back in the pot, and let it cook for the rest of this afternoon.

And yes, I did check to make sure it was working this time.

Sometimes I fucking hate being a domestic goddess.

goddess

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