Our high school (John Glenn HS) put on a variety show (Kaleidoscope) in the Spring of each year.

I participated every year; sometimes a lot, sometimes not so much.

And, of course, my senior year, I was very involved.

Our school benefitted from a school board that was very pro-theater and music; so this year, the school got beautiful new red velvet act curtains!

I know I was in a lot of stuff for that final Kaleidoscope, but I can only remember two.

For the two preceding years the French class would do a number – I was no longer taking French (conflict with band, and since my folks had taken me to Detroit and let me pick out the beautiful Kroner French horn I played, there was no chance I wasn’t going to be in band) – but was considered an honorary French students for purposes of the show.

There was one guy in French class.  George Cunio.

Poor George.

Our numbers for Kaleidoscope always featured George.

The first year, we did Alouette and George was the pigeon that got plucked.

The second year, we did Sesame Street (in French) and George was Big Bird.

But our final performance was special – we did Don’t Tell Mama (from Cabaret) with George as Sally Bowles (in bad drag – hairy armpits and all) lip syncing to me singing off stage and the rest of the class as the Kit Kat girls.

God, George was a good sport.

The other number I remember was a trio – me, Nanci Kern and Sharon Lake.

I had found a wonderful (and obscure) song called “Take it Off” – it was supposed to be Barbara Stanwyck, Olivia de Havillon, and Jane Wyman singing about how their talents were never appreciated until they took off all the makeup and glamorous costumes and played crazy women (Sorry Wrong Number, The Snake Pit, Johnny Belinda).

Funny song.  Probably went over the heads of almost everyone in the audience, but we were having fun.

And the end of the number, we hit each other in the faces with cream “pies” (pie tins filled with whipped cream.

Now, the director of the show knew what we were going to do.

Everybody had okayed it.

What nobody thought of was … we had beautiful new red velvet act curtains.

And …. Whip cream stains – at least it stains red velvet.

Fuck.

So, Nanci, Sharon and I left our indelible mark on the stage of JGHS – literally.

(Sadly, no photos of Olivia, Barbara & Jane remain, however, here’s a photo of good ol’ George from the yearbook!)