No, nobody punched me.

No, it was not from flapping my gums too much.

It is from that mouthguard I got about a week back.


When the dentist was taking the mold, he kept telling me I was biting down “wrong”, and kept making me adjust how I was biting.

I asked him, “Isn’t it better to have the mold of how I actually bite down, instead of how you think I should bite down?”

But, oh no.  Silly woman patient.  You don’t understand these things.

Okey-dokey.  You’re the one with the degree hanging on the wall.

So I get the mouthguard and he fits it to me.  And I start using it.

I notice the first morning after I wear it, my jaw feels a little sore.

Mind you, it’s not the teeth that hurt, just my jaw.

I realize that with the mouthguard my lower jaw is sliding forward all night and staying there.

And my jaw is getting sorer, and sorer, and sorer.

After a few days, I cannot fully bite down because of the pain.

And the pain lasts most of the day.

F*ck that shit.

And I stop using it, and it takes a couple days, but the pain is almost all gone.


At least I can fully bite down again.

So I’m going to be calling my dentist.

I also kind of want to know, about that degree hanging on the wall, exactly what kind of grades did you get?


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