THIS FAT OLD LADY FINDS OUT THERE IS SOMETHING THAT IS FOREVER

Forget about diamonds.

Forget about love.

We all know that there are a couple of things that truly are forever.

The first is pine needles.  Bring a live pine tree into your home, and you will be finding pine needles the rest of your life.  And they are pointy little f*ckers.

The second is glitter.  Come into contact with any form of glitter and you will be finding glitter on your skin, clothes, car.  Everywhere.  Forever.

And the third one, which I just discovered, is bread crumbs.

OMG.  Make a piece of toast.  Cut a piece of bread.  Open a package of hot dog buns. Your kitchen will never be truly clean again.

You will have bread crumbs on your counter, no matter how much you wipe.

Bread crumbs will fall into the pans of your stove burners (and smoke every time you cook from then on).

Bread crumbs will coat your sink, no matter how much water you may pour into that sink.

And while, most of the time, the crumbs will stay in your kitchen …

When you get ready for bed and take off your bra, your boobs have become a repository for your own DIY shake and bake kit.

Bread crumbs are forever.

crumbs

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