THIS FAT OLD LADY ALMOST PEED HER PANTS WATCHING JURASSIC WORLD

And not from being scared.

OMG, this movie was so (unintentionally) funny.

Truly a “this is so bad it’s hilarious” movie.

Giving Plan 9 from Outer Space a run for it’s money funny.

We watched it with RiffTrax.

(RiffTrax is a company that produces running commentary for films – a la MST3K (which is not surprising since it is run by and stars Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett (Crow T. Robot) and Kevin Murphy (Tom Servo) of MST3K fame.  You play the commentary on your computer while watching the DVD or stream.  Pretty cool because they are not limited by MST3K’s issue of only being able to do old horrible films; now they can do new horrible films – like Jurassic World.  I also love their slogan – RiffTrax because some movies have it coming.)

But I digress.  This is not an ad for RiffTrax (wonderful as they may be).

I was yelling at the TV throughout this movie – in dismay.

I can’t believe someone was paid to write the dreck that was foisted on an unsuspecting public as dialogue.

You can spot where the plot is going a million miles away; but you just can’t believe anything could be that obvious – but it is!  It really, really is.

And the product placement makes you feel like you’re watching a 2 hour commercial!

And now SPOILER ALERT (in case you either haven’t seen this steaming lump of poo or still think you might want to)

But the biggest laugh in the whole movie was the end where the Indominus Rex (I shit you not) gets hers – I won’t give the details, but I laughed loud and long at this.

I’m thinking it’s just as well that I didn’t see this in a movie theater because all that laughing may have been disruptive.

As my Grandma Harris used to say, “Who thinks up this stuff?”

(Did I mention the guy riding a f*cking motorcycle at f*cking top speed through a f*cking jungle with his f*cking velociraptor buddies?)

jurassic

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