THIS FAT OLD LADY IS HANDY AS F*CK

 

toilet

Particularly proud of myself tonight.

The toilet in my bathroom kept running, stopping, running, ad infinitum.

Argh.

This toilet has been such a pain in the ass.  Always something not working right.  And of course, it isn’t easy to get to because I, in my questionable wisdom, put an over-the-toilet space saver over the toilet that is always having problems.

So dear husband got it to stop running once, so it was now my turn.

Pull the top off of the toilet.

See that the chain has been hooked on the second hole on the handle lever.

Unhook the chain.

Move the hook to the first chain.

Chain falls off because the f*cking first hole is broken.

Now I can’t reach the f*cking chain that is at the bottom of a tank of ice cold water.

Put everything from the space saver into the sink.

Lock the curious cat out of the bathroom.

Tell the curious husband that NO I don’t need any help.

Move the now (mostly) empty spacesaver from the toilet.  (It is now blocking all egress from the area in front of the toilet.

Get the chain.

Realize if I hook it to the (unbroken) hole, it will still be too short and the toilet will continue to run sporadically.

I cannot get to anything except what is within my arm’s reach.

I FIXED IT.

Want to know how?

I took a bobbi-pin and put it through the clasp on the end of the chain, ran the bobbi-pin through the second hole and then bent the living shit out of the bobbi-pin to make sure it doesn’t come f*cking loose.

Put everything back where it belongs.

So not only am I f*cking adorable, I declare myself handy as f*ck as well.

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