When we bought this house, it came with two accoutrement – a huge bear carved out of a tree stump and a heavy-as-fuck cement Dalmatian on the front porch (yup, the Beverly Hillbillies had a ce-ment pond; I got me a ce-ment dog).

Since the bear (happily not part of the blow-me-bears that the previous owner took with her) is in the back of the house, I can pretty much ignore it until I make arrangements to have the monstrosity cut down and hauled up North to my family’s cabin where it is actually welcome.

The dog, however, is right on the front porch and there is no ignoring the thing. 

Not only is it big and heavy as fuck, it is not in good shape.  Where it sits, it gets dripped on from the gutter right over it’s head.  I have no desire to restore it, I simply would like to have it removed.  (Have I mentioned it’s heavy as fuck?). 

Unfortunately, I have not gotten my life in sufficient order to arrange for the removal of these two eyesores. 

What’s a fat old lady to do?

Well, since I can’t ignore the dog, I find that I am enjoying dressing up the dog in seasonal attire.

When we bought the house, the dog had an American flag-esque scarf tied around it’s neck.  To carry on that tradition, I bought some seasonal themed bandanas to tie around the neck of the dog.  This sufficed for Halloween and Thanksgiving.  But for Christmas, I added a Santa hat (sadly, I did not take a photo).

I did however take a photo of the latest ensemble – for Valentine’s Day.  I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy humiliating the cement dog.