Y’all are not going to believe this.

There was a comment on one of my Monday blog posts; from a gentleman, saying many kind things about my blog and asking me to e-mail him.

Hmmmmm.

What to do?  I don’t need anymore dick pics in my life.  I don’t need anymore dicks in my life.  And so often that is what men who have reached out to me through my blog want to be.  Just one more dick in my life.

But this guy seemed really nice and sincere; and I like to give people a chance.

So, I emailed him.  Got a nice response.  Now he wants me to telephone him.

Yikes. 

First off, y’all should know by now, I am not real comfortable using Mr. Edison’s invention.  Growing up, our use of the telephone was very restricted.  So I never got into the habit.  (It also explains why, at a young age, I became an inveterate letter writer.)

But, everybody can use a new friend. Right?  RIGHT?????

So I ended up calling him – and I am so glad I did. 

This fat middle-aged married white guy had gotten himself banned from Next Door.  I’m not sure of the exact reasons, but it seems his point of view was too liberal for the folks in his area.  And I can understand that because I spent only a few days on Next Door before I dropped out due to the nature of the posts I was seeing.  I decided I and my neighbors would probably live happier lives if I simply refused to learn anything further about my neighbors.

Anyhow, unlike me, this guy really wanted to be on Next Door and felt he had things to say that needed saying.  But how to get his neighbors to listen?  He decided if he posed as an old lady, people might be more willing to listen to (and more importantly hear) what he had to say).  So, he set up a faux-account using the name of a beloved and deceased relative – Dorothy. 

He did a Google search for an image – using the phrase “sweet old lady”.  Did you guess who’s picture came up?  Yeah, I couldn’t believe it either – somebody needs to talk to Google because clearly they need to do some work on their algorithms. (

And you know what, I ran a test and no, the photo in question did not come up – but another one of me did; nor did my photo come up with “nice old lady” – but search for “fat old lady” and you hit the jackpot – almost 20 photos of me on the first page!)

You know the photo he picked up – or at least I did, before he even described it.  It’s the short bob with my wooden glasses, which I have posted below. For some reason, this photo gets picked up by lots of people, often to set up fake FaceBook accounts. 

Then he told me that Dorothy is quite popular on Next Door and has developed something of a following!  And so he decided to take her to Twitter too.

In the meantime, his other computer-savvy friends called him to tell him that they had found me – I was real.  And that was how the guy found my blog and, in his opinion, found that I was as salty and sassy as his Dorothy. 

I told him that I had no problem with his using my image so long as he didn’t try to pretend to actually be me.  It sounds to me like he’s using Dorothy for the power of good and unless I find some clear and direct evidence showing otherwise – what the hell.  Let Dorothy have some fun. 

So if you run across a Twitter account “HelloItsDorothy” – not me; but I hope you find it fun (and if not, you come running to me because the eyes and ears of this fat old lady are everywhere!).