Red and white striped tops somehow mean “summer” to me.

I only have one red and white striped top. 

I find that red and white striped tops in fat old lady sizes are not easy to find.  Perhaps because many retailers believe that horizontal stripes of any color should be eschewed by fat people.

Fuck those retailers.

However, I also noticed that, depending the solid color I wear with the red stripes, red stripes define an outfit.

If I wear red stripes and white and I have a kind of nautical theme going on.

However, if I wear them with black, I’m a pirate. 

And if I wear them with red, and I’m either dressed “off the same page of the Penny’s catalog” or a 1970s flight attendant.

And wear them with blue and I’m suddenly hyper patriotic or Waldo.

And just wear all red stripes – I risk looking like the circus is in town (ditto for any large-sized polka dots of any color).

Red stripes are weird that way.

(Or maybe it’s just I’m weird that way – take your pick.)