I’m starting radiation treatments next week.
A month after radiation treatment I am supposed to start hormone suppressant therapy – specifically Anastrozole.
I’ve been reading up about this drug and I’m very worried about it.
For one thing, it can affect your mood. I’m assuming since this is listed as a side effect, they don’t mean it will turn you into Little Merry Sunshine.
Since my mood swings are barely (and not always) kept under control through better living through chemistry (i.e. psychiatric drugs) – this is not good news.
It also can lead to joint pain. As my dear husband so succinctly put it – “How will you know the difference?” Indeed. This fat old lady’s body already creaks and snaps and otherwise creates its own accompaniment as I wander through life.
But here’s the kicker.
Anastrozole can cause “voice change”. It can cause sore throat, hoarseness and “voice change”.
Does this mean I could come through this and no longer be able to sing?
That makes my heart feel cold.
I can’t find anything that tells me what my risk of cancer recurrence is with or without Anastrozole. I can’t find anything that tells me if the voice issues are permanent or even the nature of them.
What am I willing to trade my voice for? Who am I if I can’t sing? Do I just say fuck it, I’m 67 – time to hang up my singing hat anyway?