OMG.

Would Apple please get the fuck off of my back?

My iPhone has been nagging me forever to go to two-step logins.

I finally caved and agreed to it.

Only, my iPhone would not take my password. 

It wouldn’t take my password on the first try and then locked me out of my Apple account.

WTF?

So I use my PC and go into the Apple website to unlock the account.

Apple still doesn’t like my password.

So I go to change my password.

Mind you, this is the second time I’ve changed this password because Apple suddenly decides my password is not my password; and don’t even bother arguing with Apple about it.  They are Apple and they seriously do not give a fuck.

So to change my password, I need my Apple Account ID. 

WTF is that? 

(I know, all you sweet young tech-savvy things are screaming at your computer telling me that you know this one … well, pin a rose on you.  This fat old lady doesn’t have a clue what Apple is asking for.)

But Apple says it will look it up for me.

Great.

I give Apple all the info it asks for, and it loops me right back to the first page asking me for my Apple Account id. 

I tried this THREE fucking times, with the same results every time.

BUT – I looked back at another page I had open, and Apple had filled in the info (and you can believe me that I now have it – until Apple decides, no, that’s not it at all).

Okay.  I’m in.  I change my password (after answering a bunch of security questions, plus getting a verification # through text from Apple).  And then I set up the dual-security login for my phone.

I go to my iPhone.  I access and install an update (this was the whole reason for this fiasco – I wanted to download an app that needed a more recent ios – we won’t question why Apple didn’t fucking install the upgrade itself, even though it is set to automatically download and install upgrades). 

Great! 

My iPhone asks me three more times (clearly Apple believes in the theory that three-in-a-row wins) for my login.  And three times, it refuses it.

W?T?F?

I decide the best course of action is to put down the phone and walk away for awhile. 

After work, I went into my phone, it asked for my second login, I entered it, and wonder of wonders (miracle of miracles), it accepted it.  (And the angels wept.)

I checked the ios was upgraded.  I went to the App Store and got my program. 

I feel I now have insight into all the broken iPhones in the world.

I’m not saying people are lying, but I’ve dropped my phone – numerous times.  They don’t break that easy.  Just saying.

Also, I don’t blame anyone who may have accidentally flung their iPhone across a room or to the floor and possibly accidentally jumped up and down on top of it a few times.  I don’t blame you; not even one little bit.