I am a dedicated reader of advice columns.

The reasons are a mix of (a) I like seeing the stupid things people ask about and (b) I like checking my advice with what the “expert” has to say.

One question I see over and over is “How do I make new friends” or variations on that theme.

And the experts never get it right.

We all know how to make new friends, don’t we?

You join a community theater group, for fuck’s sake.

If you perform – you can audition.

If you can play an instrument – go hang out in the pit.  (It’s a lot more fun than it sounds.)

If you want to boss people around – you can apply to be a director, or assistant director, or stage manager.

If you like to build or paint things – have we got a job for you!

If you like to sew or make pretty things – we have jobs for you too!

If you like to spread light and make a joyful noise – light and sound people are always needed.

If you like to tell people where to go – be an usher.

Not only do we have ways to be useful for pretty much everybody and anybody – we are also the most welcoming people you will ever meet.

Sure we can be bitchy and pissy and cranky (Fat Old Lady – know thyself) – but those moments are generally fleeting – or you can just go hang out with someone who is not a moody bitch (but I assure you, you’re eventually going to miss me!).

Community theater is made up of people from every walk of life.

Interesting, nice, smart, and FRIENDLY.

And a great place to meet a special someone.

Again, we have people involved that fall into the whole spectrum of gender and sexual orientation.

Not only that – the people here accept you for who you are.

I mean, up to a point – a creep is a creep is a creep  and an ass hat is an ass hat is an ass hat – no matter what.

We don’t put up with discrimination.  We don’t put up with bullying.  We don’t put up with sexual harassment of any kind.

If it happens to you, you’ll need to tell someone.

And the perpetrator will be called to task.

And if you don’t think those are reasonable standards – then, okay, community theater is not for you.

For the rest of you – come on, join the fun.

Well – okay – you can’t join the fun right now because everything is in lock down – but when things open up again.

We’ll be here waiting!