I have no problem that many fast food restaurants have had to simplify their menus due to COVID-19.

I realize there are problems with the supply chains and availability issues.

I applaud them for trying to find ways to stay open while keeping their customers and (more importantly) their employees safe.  (After all customers have the choice of doing the dance of death to get some fast food, the employees do not have that choice.)

I almost never use apps on my phone.  I am a fat OLD lady.  This shit makes my brain hurt to the point, where the convenience of the app is just not worth it to me.

But I have now downloaded McDonald’s and Taco Bell’s apps because I want my interactions at these places to be as brief and contact free as possible.

Also, I figure it is easier for the apps to supply current menu choices; while the websites make you believe it’s business as usual.

Setting up both of these apps was a pain in the ass, but Taco Bell was far worse.

I could not get it to allow me to sign in.

But I REALLY wanted Taco Bell for my birthday.

(Fuck you, don’t judge me.)

So, after beating my head against the app wall for way too long, I went to the website, and lo and behold, the reason I couldn’t do the set up was because they require the password to include one Upper case letter, numbers and a symbol.  This information was not present when you try to set up the app on the phone!

WTF Taco Bell?

Once I was able to set up the account, I used the app to place and pay for the order.

And as I expected, the menu was greatly curtailed.

I go to our local Taco Bell and tell the big voice box outside that I placed a mobile order, they took my name and said just pull up – which I did as soon as the big-assed Tesla Model S in front of me moved.

That’s also when I noticed that they had a lot of different things available that did not appear on their app!!!

Things that I would have preferred over what I had ordered.

WTF Taco Bell?

I get to the window, and I am told that one of the items I had ordered was no longer available, they had stopped carrying it some time ago.

I suggested that perhaps they should consider fixing their (fucking – and no I didn’t say it out loud, but it was implied) app.

So they made a substitution – I had order a tri-lupa (or some such thing) and they were going to give me a regular chalupa.  Okay.  I check to see that they are not putting chipotle sauce or their queso sauce on the chalupa and I am assured that those things don’t come on a regular chalupa – instead, I get sour cream!  Oh boy!  I HATE sour cream on my food.  So they have to run back and make sure there is no sour cream.  (I hadn’t mentioned no sour cream on my original order because what I had originally ordered did not come with sour cream on it.)

What a total fuck-muddle.

Then they start to hand me a Pepsi – which I had not ordered.

(For fuck’s sake.)

I get my bag and go home.

Not happy.  So not happy.

And of course, I can’t find anyplace on the website to complain.

So I’m complaining here.

WTF Taco Bell?

McDonald’s was much better.

Setting up the app, not too terrible, but using it was a bit of an adventure.

The problem I had with McDonald’s was, at my McDonald’s, there are places where you pull up when you use the mobile app to order your food.  You tell them you are there, and they bring you your food.  Nowhere, did the app tell me this procedure had changed.  I pull up, I tell McDonald’s that I have arrived (ta-dah), and then I wait.  I realize, the app never asked which of the spaces I was in; and the sign on the space clearly says that you need to tell them which space.

Only the app never asked me that.

WTF McDonald’s?

So, after a brief wait, I take it upon myself to go through the drive through – they ask me for the order code.

I give them the order code that I remember – turns out that’s not the one they want.

WTF McDonalds?

Don’t give me multiple codes – give me ONE fucking code.  I don’t have a clue what the other code was – it was like 6 digits long!

Fuck you McDonald’s.

I just want to get my food, I don’t want to take a fucking memory test.

Luckily, it seems I was one of very few (or even maybe the only) mobile orders they had.

So they put me through all the code shit for no reason.  (Teeny shout out to Taco Bell for just putting it under your fucking name – something that you should be able to remember; and if you can’t, you shouldn’t be a Taco Bell, you should be at the ER because there is something very wrong.)

So I got my food.  And the order was right, and their app menu matched their menu-menu.

One more question for Taco Bell – why don’t you have your tostada salad available?

I kind of understand why McDonald’s doesn’t have salad – it’s not a big salad place, but Taco Bell has lettuce on fucking everything!  So why can’t you get their salad?

We don’t have fast food that often.  It’s comfort food and it’s a treat when we have it.

I don’t want it to be a fucking battle.

That kind of defeats the purpose of having comfort food.

I’d say it’s all new for all of us – except it’s been 2 months.

Time to get your shit together McDonald’s and Taco Bell.


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