Barbie and Ken the world’s worst sex education toy.

And God (whom I don’t believe in) knows I tried to figure out sex with my busty doll and her boyfriend.

God (whom I don’t believe in) knows that me and my cousin Marilyn tried to figure it out.

Sadly, Ken lacks Tab A and Barbie lacks Slot B.

Of course, now we all know, Tab A goes into Slot B.

And tabs and slots can be used for a myriad of other participatory and solitary fun and games too.

So really, when I was growing up, Ken and Barbie are really only good for dressing up in expensive clothing and absorbing lessons about privilege.