Okay there is sometimes this thing in theater when you are rehearsing where you have a long break in rehearsals.

Or between performances.

This is the worst.

At least for me.

Because you want to relax a little but you NEED to keep everything you have learned so far stuck in your little pea brain.

What’s a fat old lady to do?

Well, my own stress and performer’s guilt isn’t going to let me relax anyhow.

What is performer’s guilt you might be asking?

That is a thing where you are terrified that you will do something in your off time that will negatively impact your ability to perform.

I have been stricken with this ever since my last performance with the Fischer Troupe (back in Frankenmuth, Michigan) I had to perform with virtually no voice – because (1) I went to a party; (2) on the way home I had a flat tire and had to change it in the sleet and snow; and (3) I got sick.

Now only one of those things was really my fault – going to the party.  And whether or not I went to that party, I would have gotten a flat tire I needed to change; and I may have still gotten sick no matter what.

But what has stuck with me all these many (many) years, is I went to a party and I should have gone home and not have and that is why this last chance to perform with the Fischer Troupe was fucked up.

THAT is performer’s guilt.

At least, that’s what it is for me.

It is why I seldom go to parties or out to a bar or do anything remotely like fun after or before a performance.

I just can’t deal with the guilt.

So, anyhow, back to the whole break thing.

You know the supposed topic of this blog?

I run everything at least once a day – more if there are problem areas (and there are always problem areas).

And that is how I am spending my holiday break for A New Brain.

Running it and reviewing the blocking / choreography.

And I assure you, when we get back, any mistakes I make I will be self-flagellating myself for not having done more.

Doesn’t theater sound like fun, kids?

(Oh, note to self – NEVER look up images for flagellation on the Internet!)