THIS FAT OLD LADY’S ALL ABOUT ME MONDAY – MYSTERIES OF PARKING

Why is using a parking garage so confusing to so many people?

The one that I need to access for rehearsals has multiple entrances, but most folks use the entrances off San Pedro.  There are two entrances there – side by side.

So why does everybody line up for one of the entrances and ignore the fact that there is a second (usually empty) one right next to it?

It makes no sense whatsoever.

And no one is ever prepared to take the ticket.

I roll my window down a block away.

Because (a) I have to do it by hand – no electric windows for me thanks.  (I’m from Michigan where you are around a lot of water and if my car goes in the drink, I am not dying because I couldn’t get my windows open because they shorted out, thank you very much.)

And (b) that’s the kind of person I am.  I plan a head.

I pull up to the little ticket machine, as close as I can get too (both coming and going).

I have a general idea how long my arms are; and I hate having to undo my seatbelt and open the car door to get that stupid ticket.

Apparently, this doesn’t bother most people.

They seem intent on making it their life’s work to get into the garage, roll down the window, get the ticket, and then proceed –

Except once the gate goes up, they never seem to have a plan for where they are going to go now.

It’s like it’s a complete surprise to them!

What?  Now I have to move my vehicle and go somewhere in this parking garage to park it?

Wait.

What?

Let me think about this.

There is even a sign that tells you how many spaces are available on each floor.

Pick one.

For the love of God (that I don’t believe in).

PICK ONE.

It’s Christmas.  I’m trying to be nice.

DON’T FUCKING PUSH IT.

Oh, and apparently, all turn signals (except mine) stop working upon entering a parking structure.

And I won’t even discuss that your Ford Extinction is not a SMALL CAR!!! So WTF is it doing in that space clearly marked “SMALL CAR”?

Or the people who think the lines are merely suggestions as to where they should place their vehicle.

All I want for Christmas is a FUCKING TOW TRUCK!

tow

 

 

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