THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – FLU SHOT TIME

Kaiser strikes again.

It’s that time of year, folks.

Time to roll up your sleeves and confess whether or not you are allergic to eggs and get your flu shot.

So I’m at my HMO (Kaiser) for an appointment, and there’s a line for the flu shot, but I figure, “what the hell”.

I know me.

If I don’t do it now, I’ll just put it off, and put it off, and put it off.

So I get in line, and it goes pretty quickly.

I’m almost to the front, and I notice one nurse is pinching her victim – I mean, patient, before giving the injection.

WTF?

Seriously, WTF bitch.

Pinching someone, not only hurts, in and of itself, it makes a shot hurt more.

It hurts more because (as I have explained before) if the muscle is tight (and the muscle will automatically tighten if pinched) the needle tears through the muscle fibers.  If the muscle is relaxed, the needle will slide in-between the muscle fibers, and if it hurts at all, it will hurt a good deal less.

Clearly, this person is either ignorant, misinformed, or just plain mean.

I don’t really care which.

I’m in line, saying to myself …. Please, let me get the other nurse, please let me get the other nurse …

You guessed it, I got Nurse Pinch-a-lot.

I sit down and the first thing I do is tell her that she will not be pinching this fat old lady’s arm before giving me a shot.

She is surprised at my request, but she agrees.

I go on to explain my reasoning and she is not impressed (so I’m going with she’s just plain old mean), but has agreed that I shall remain pinchless.

I then get a big ol’ surprise.

She tells me I need the high-dose shot.

I’m like, “Why?” (thinking it has something to do with size).

Nope.  It’s not because I’m a FAT old lady.  It’s because I’m a fat OLD lady.

Anyone over the age of 65 is supposed to get the high dose shot.

Gee, would have been nice if Kaiser had let me know – I mean, pretty sure they have this info written down somewhere. (Sigh.)

Then I get my next big ol’ surprise.

I ask, do I need to go the injection clinic.

And I’m told, no, because …

Wait for it …

Kaiser is out of the high dose flu shot.

This is the middle of fucking September and Kaiser has already run out of what is touted as a life-saving medication meant for the more vulnerable part of the population.

Yet, another WTF?

I say, okay, just give me the regular shot – because something is better than nothing, and I figure, since I work from home, I don’t get exposed to as much creeping crud as most people.

And ….

She goes to pinch me.

(OMG)

I say, “Uh-uh-uh!)

She stops, and admits she was about to pinch me!  She laughs about it!

Can you stand it?  I sure as fuck can’t.

She gives me the shot, with no pinch, and guess what?  Didn’t hurt at all.

Fucking ass hat.

mean nurse

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