THIS FAT OLD LADY’S WTF WEDNESDAY – WTF BODY

Yesterday for lunch, I made myself some nachos – fat old lady from Michigan style – corn tortilla chips, Mexican blend cheese and Pace (mild) salsa.

Nothing exciting.

When I was almost done, suddenly, with no warning, my body decided to tell me my luncheon choice was not acceptable.

I knew I was about to throw up.

WTF.

So I run to the bathroom, and hover over the porcelain altar.

Now, my body is caught in a fight with itself.

One part is screaming, “Get rid of it.”

The other part is screaming, “No!  It’s mine.”

WTF!

So I have a lovely case of the heaves with no result.

So frustrating, because you know if you could just empty your stomach all would be well – or at least better.

Wasn’t happening.

I think about calling in sick and just going to bed, but I was brought up to believe that unless there is actual vomit, you are not really sick.

So back to the computer I go.

At least I get to feel miserable at home.

As the afternoon progresses, I feel no better (but not much worse).

Time to shut down and think about dinner.

Nope.

My body says, no dinner for you lady – unless you want to be wearing it.

So Bill gets home and I let him know, he’s on his own for dinner and I go crawl into bed.

I get up a couple of hours later – still not hungry, but I know I need to eat something.

Unfortunately, I haven not been shopping lately, so there is not much in the house.

I consider rice (one of my all time favorite foods) but amazingly my body says, absolutely not.

So I try some applesauce.

Too acidic.

I eat some chocolate (hey, I thought it might coat my stomach – or at least make me feel better).

Meh.

I eat a donut stick (no plain bread in the house that isn’t about to sprout greenery) – at least it’s bland.

We’re out of club soda (which I should have thought of way earlier in the day – d’oh.)

I give up.

Today, I feel somewhat better – amazingly (for me) still not really hungry.

At least my Cream of Wheat is not causing any overt reactions – yet.

I’m just so WTF body – just get over whatever it was, would you?

At least until I go grocery shopping and pick up a cart full of club soda.

puke

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