My weekday breakfast of choice is either instant Cream of Wheat or instant Oatmeal.

It’s quick and easy and I like it.

The package instructions tell you to put water and the cereal in a cup and pop it into the microwave.

LIARS!

Anyone who has actually followed those instructions can tell you that you will not end up with a nice cup of hot cereal.

You will end up with a searing hot mess all over your microwave.

Put the cereal and water into the microwave and it will boil over.

You will end up with almost nothing in your cup, and if you actually want to eat your cereal, you will have to scrape it from the inside of your microwave.

Yum.

To actually enjoy your hot cereal, put the water in the cup, put the cup in the microwave, heat the water, take the cup out of the microwave, add the cereal, stir and wait a few minutes while it thickens.

I worked with an attorney who simply could not figure out that the package instructions were wrong.  I couldn’t convince her that if she followed the instructions she would have a mostly empty cup and a huge mess in the office microwave.  Despite the clear evidence of her own repeated experience.  (And yet people continued to pay her hundreds of dollars an hour for her advice!  Attorneys, they’re so cute at that age.)

I have no idea why instant hot cereal manufacturers continue to foist this cruel (and messy) hoax upon an unsuspecting public.

But they do.

So take heed, little ones.

Heat the water, then add the cereal.

Quick and easy, IF you know the trick.

WTF Quaker Oats and Cream of Wheat?