I went to my senior prom with Mike (Hairy Butt) Doriean.

I have a feeling he was pressured into asking me by mutual friends, but hey, I got to go to the prom.

(His middle moniker was due to information I was given by Pat Gray, who shared a few theatrical dressing rooms with Mr. D, that “He has the hairiest butt I’ve ever seen.”)

Anyhow, I was thrilled.

My Mom made me my prom dress per my instructions – tiered in blue dotted Swiss.

I have no idea why I suddenly had a need to channel my inner Southern Belle.  (I have a photo somewhere, but sadly can’t lay my hands on it at this moment.)

I really wanted a wrist corsage – but Mike either couldn’t or simply didn’t get me one.  Just the regular pin to your boob kind.

We got to the prom, at the old Wenona Hotel in downtown Bay City; and the first thing I notice is this darling little balcony that could only be accessed by crawling through a window.

Mike saw where I was looking and deduced my thoughts and said, “No.”

Mike did not realize who he was dealing with.

That “no” only increased my ardor to climb through that window onto that balcony.

After several cups of punch, nature called, and off I went to the ladies.

On the way I ran into Jill (something-bach), a friend from typing class.

Turned out, she too needed to go through that window.

So we headed to our target, and out that window we went.

Standing on the ground outside the window was – you guessed it – Mike, looking very disapproving.

His statement was, “Why can’t you act like a lady like Jan Gudzial?”

Only a bit chastened, I headed to the loo (because I still needed to pee).

I enter the ladies’ loo, and there is Jan Gudzial with her prom dress lifted to her waist, fanning her nether regions, announcing, “Its’ so hot out there.”

All I wanted was to step outside and say, “Uh, Mike could you come here for a moment?”

By the way, later than night, I walked home from the prom (from Jan’s house) because I was so infuriated with Mike.  So you can imagine a pissed off Southern Belle stomping along the side of Midland Road, in Bay City, Michigan in the middle of a Spring evening.

The names have not been changed, because after a certain age nobody is innocent.

While, I don’t have my prom photo, here is a clipping with Mike’s picture.  He’s the guy in the middle, pointing officiously.


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