You want to know the hardest part of making my little Dikke Dame (fat lady) dolls?

It’s sewing the f*cking crocheted eyes on – because I have to use a thread that won’t show.

So I use clear plastic thread.

This stuff is so useful, but it is a f*cking nightmare to work with.

First try to thread a needle with thread you can barely see.

It is almost impossible to put a knot in this stuff – so you can forget that.

Luckily, I don’t need a knot, I pull the thread through the head of the doll to the front.

Of course, the stuff is slicker than goose shit, so it’s so easy to pull it all the way through.

If you should be able to get it through (without pulling it all the way through), now you get to stitch with stuff that you can barely see and that hooks up on fucking everything.

You think you’re doing just fine, and then you notice that an arm or ear or boob is being pulled.

So now you have to go on a hunt for exactly where and how the thread (did I mention it’s clear) is hung up and untangle it.

And you must make sure that each stitch has pulled all the way through, or you’ll finish and find a big ass loop on the face of your doll where a stitch did not pull through.

And since it is, as I mentioned, slicker than goose shit, it is so easy for it to come unthreaded from the needle, and, as I mentioned, it’s a bitch to thread through a needle.

But I need to use it.

Other parts of the doll, I can use the crochet thread that I’ve been using to make that part to sew it together.

But the eye – one part is black, and one part is white; and there’s little bits on the side that are the color of the iris and it’s sewn to whatever color the doll’s head is, and any thread not matching exactly would be fairly visible.

So, clear plastic thread it is.

And I am thankful this shit exists.

But does it have to be such a f*cking bitch to work with?

And no I’m not gluing the eyes on.

What are we philistines?