THIS FAT OLD LADY IS IN GRANNY SQUARE HELL

blue and white throw

I’m looking for a project to keep my idle hands from becoming the devil’s playthings (he’s the devil, he can afford to buy his own playthings, thank you very much).

I see a free crochet pattern of a lovely lap blanket (see photo above) and I am inspired to make it – only I want to enlarge it into a queen size bed spread. It’s all granny squares – so it’s also an easy-peasy kind of project. Cool beans.

Get the yarn, print the pattern, and there it sits for awhile. But I eventually get down to it.

36 large squares and 136 small squares. Did it.

Take the 136 small squares and sew together in groups of 4 to make large squares until you have 34 (more) large squares. Did it.

Figure out the layout for the squares (7 rows of 10 squares each). Did it.

Tie off the yarn ends.

There are 16 yarn ends for each regular large square and 35 yarn ends for each 4-square large square.

There are 1766 yarn ends that I need to tie off.

Fuck.

So this is where I am. Up to my fat old lady tits in granny squares, darning needles, and little hunks of cut off yarn.

Hey – I have 24 of the squares done.

Yippee fucking skippee.

Two of the 10-square rows are sewn together (which needless to say, I am doing the tie-offs as I go), with only five more of those to go, and then sew the 10-square rows together, crochet around the entire edge of the whole mother-flipping thing, and then it’ll be done.

What was I thinking?

PS – I am NOT making the pillow or putting any tassels on the afghan.  I am miserable enough, thank you.

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