I don’t like wearing bras much.

However, not wearing a bra is going to be uncomfortable for me (and probably others, but fuck them).

I got big old saggy fat lady boobies.

Sad to say, I have always had big old saggy fat lady boobies – even as a sweet young thing (as the picture above will attest). I have never had perky breasts. Something I regret bitterly.

But what you going to do? It is what it is and they are what they are.

I blamed they sagginess of my boobies on their size, until I met my friend, K. She had (and has) ginormous boobies. And since we’re both in the theater where disrobing in front of each other is a common practice, I got to see her boobies without benefit of undergarment.

They were spectacular (and for all I know they still are, although this was many years ago). Pearly white skin with blue veins and firm! Not perky – I don’t think ginormous boobs can do perky – at least not the ones you grow yourself (as opposed to those the doctor gives you) – but firm and proud.

Fuck me.

I had to admit I simply have fat saggy boobies. (Sigh.)

So on with the tit sling, the over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder.

I am reminded of my first Bette Midler concert – when she talked about the under the boob pencil test to see if you needed to wear a bra or not – in case you are not familiar, the rule was if the pencil fell, you didn’t need a bra. Ms. Midler said she put a pencil under her boob, a pen, a typewriter … well, you get the gist.

At least me and my boobs are in good company.